jokes and goals for the week
Thursday, October 02, 2014
Fri- cardio and flexibility 9 am and 444PM done
Sat- st and flexibility 2PM AND 4PM done
Sun- cardio and flexbity2AM AND 4 PM done
Mon- cardio 9 am done
Tue- strength 8 pm
Wed- cardio 9am
Thurs- strength 2 pm
unny jokes /i hope
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”
My nursing colleague was preparing an intravenous line for a 15 year-old male patient. The bedside phone rang and the boy’s mother reached over to pick it up.
After talking for a few minutes, the mother held the phone aside and said, “Your father wants to know if you have any cute nurses.”
The boy gazed at the nurse, who had the needle poised above his arm, ready for insertion. “Tell him,” he replied, “they’re absolutely gorgeous!”
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. Okay this is supposed to be funny don not kill me my fellow cats.
When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.