new blog been awhile
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Summer been hard for me .I lost my job and still looking for new one. I am worrying about running out of my anxiety /depression pills since i no longer have insurance. My exercise is different. I am in a Monday, Wednesday and Friday water aerobic class. I also take a walking class. i gain about 15 pounds in spring and summer. But I am back on spark and hoping to change that soon.
Math Mistake After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 Apple Pies and I asked for one, how many would you have left?" Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4."
On His Head A man walks into a bar with an apple pie on his head. The barman asks, "Why are you wearing an apple pie on your head?" The man replies, "It's a family tradition. We always wear apple pies on our heads on Tuesday." The barman remarks, "But it's Wednesday." Sheepishly, the man says, "Man, I must look like a real fool."
DEADBEAT IN A BAR
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."
Knowledge corrupts. * Smart man + smart woman = romance;
Smart man + dumb woman = affair;
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage;
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy. *
One sodium atom says "oh no! I think I lost an electron", another atom asks "are you sure?", "Yeah! I'm positive". *
Abraham Lincoln was accused of being two~faced. Lincoln replied, “If I had two faces, do you think this is the one I’d be wearing?” *
President John Kennedy once read a fake telegram from his rich father, "Jack, Don't spend one dime more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I am going to pay for a landslide." This effectively stole the power of the accusation that his campaign was largely financed by his father. *
Ronald Reagan’s most powerful tool was his self~deprecating humor. When his advanced age was used against him by Senator Mondale during the 1984 campaign, intentionally misunderstanding he quipped, "I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." *