What To Do About Spark?
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking – and you know that never goes well!
I’m wrestling with the idea of leaving Spark. I’ve been here about 3 years. How crazy is that?! And yet I’m not at my goal weight. I never really got close to my goal weight. What is the quote about the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?
Perhaps this is just me, but I’ve noticed a few changes in Spark and it just isn’t holding, well, the “spark” that it used to for me.
A few things…
- I’ve made and lost a whole bunch of Sparkfriends. They just (poof) disappear. The first few times it happened, I had a bunch of irrational thoughts like “What if they were in a car accident?” and such. Then I realized that people just give up. And that makes me sad.
- I used to find a lot of motivation here. I used to learn a lot. Maybe I’m not proactively working the message boards enough, but I feel like I haven’t learned much in a while from Spark itself. My remaining sparkfriends have given me some great tips, but that is different.
- I worry that this has become too much of a habit. It is one of the first things I do every day when I log on to my computer, but after 3 years, maybe that isn’t a good thing? I don’t really feel the sting of not tracking workouts anymore and such.
- I love some of my sparkfriends, you guys know you who are, but overall the vibes here have changed. Nobody helps to pick you up when you’re down, write you encouraging words if you need it. This isn’t as much of a supportive community as it was when I first started. Find a blog where someone says they are struggling and it may have zero comments. Find one where someone has lost 100 lbs and eats perfectly and works out every day? 200 comments. I could be generalizing here, but it is something I have noticed. I’m not saying we shouldn’t celebrate the people who have done well, but let’s lift up those that haven’t as well. I definitely have stopped blogging as much because of it.
- It just has to be said – the ads on this site are insane. I know they have to pay to keep it free somehow, but my goodness have they gotten crazy. There are ways to have ads on your site without making it so cumbersome or awful.
I feel like I’m at the starting line of another period of change in my life. My job is going through changes, my bf and I are going through changes (getting a house and a dog? Hello!), and I’d love for my dedication to wellness to be part of those changes as well. I just don’t know about Spark anymore.
I’ve been struggling a bit, personally. Feel like I’m dipping a toe back into the depression pool again but I’m trying to fight it. My eating has been kind of whatever and I have had less drive to do anything besides walk. I know I need to make sure I’m not drinking a glass of wine to relax every single night. Maybe this is just a phase? Or just the catalyst before that period of change I feel coming down the line? Deep thoughts man…
On the happiness front, my bf and I decided to hold off on the puppy until after our vacation to Colorado in two weeks. Doesn’t make sense to bring an infant into the house and leave it. I’m super excited but I know this makes the most logical approach to the situation! We have to come up with possible names anyways! I think the vacation just became real to me this morning as well. Starting to get super excited to head out West again. Always feels good for the soul!
Anyways, I’m not planning on ditching Spark today but I’ve definitely got a lot on my mind. I know I owe it to myself to get healthy and I’ve gotta consider my options. Would appreciate any advice you may have : )
Hope you are having a great week so far!