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For Me

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

OK. It's time to get real. I'm great at setting goals. Achieving them? Not so much.
I've decided to evaluate why that is.
I don't think it's because my goals are unrealistic. I think it's because my focus is wrong. If I do it for my husband, I'm waiting for him to notice, and praise me. If I do it to look good, my reward will only come once someone notices my efforts and compliments my looks.
That's going to take a LONG TIME.
I have faith I can get there. Eventually. But for now I need little rewards to keep me going. And guess who is the only one who knows if I deserve a reward? Me. Only I know if I gave my 100%. Only I know if I cheated or if I had determination and stuck with it.
And guess what? My husband loves me the way I am. So waiting for a sign from him that says "I disapprove. I'm not going to love you anymore unless you lose weight." Is just not going to happen. 1. Because I'd have to gain an AWFUL lot of weight, purposely, with the intent to hurt him, for that to ever cross his mind. And 2. Because I'm not going to let it happen.
I don't need a sign. I need to make a decision. And stick with it.
Decisions I have made today:
I will not drink my calories. I will always turn to water first when I am thirsty.
I will not use food as a reward. I am not a dog. And I have worked too hard to just undo it.
I will not buy foods that are specific no-nos. If I don't buy it, I don't eat it.
And if Greg buys it, it's his.
I will take responsibility for what I put into my body. I will hold myself accountable and record what I eat to the best of my knowledge.
I will take responsibility for the time I spend. I DO have at least 30 minutes a day to exercise. No excuses.
Unless it's a Friday night movie, WITH Greg, I will not be stationary for longer than 1 hour. Get up. Move. Even if it's just to fold the laundry during the commercial break. At least you'll have folded laundry by the end of the show.
And last but not least, I will still love myself if I try and fail. But I WILL try.

I am doing this for me. Because I know I can. Because it's MY health, MY body, MY life, and MY energy levels. And if my husband notices my hard work and praises me, and if others notice that I'm loving myself and taking care of myself in a healthy way, that's a nice bonus, but not as important as seeing my own progress and saying "I knew I could do it."

Let's do this thing.
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