Faith & Believing
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Some days I have faith that since I had lost so much weight before that I can do it again. Some days I believe that I can do this again. Recently, I have manged to care for myself and exercise and eat well for 4 days out of these past 8 days, but then something happens inside me and I sabotage myself. I really do want to feel better again, but then after a few days of "success" I do everything to sabotage that achievement.
I know I am not perfect and a work in progress, but I am not sure I am ever going to get back to living a healthy lifestyle for any length in time. I have lost my way and lost my belief and faith in myself. I just keep seeking comfort in food. I know it isn't there and I hate the consequences, but I can't seem to care in the moment. Now I feel like I am facing an uphill battle that I am never going to beat and I am growing weary of trying.
I am so depressed again and this is contributing to my not caring about the consequences of using food. I feel like I can't get out of my own way and am on this merry go round that I can't get off. I also feel that I have let people down and that I am a disappointment.