Wednesday, May 07, 2014
I know that it's important to schedule "me time", but it's hard for me. My brain doesn't shut up! I'm always thinking about what I SHOULD be doing...cleaning, exercising, sleeping... I just can't seem to relax.
Technically, my "me time" is after the kids go to bed, after I've made their lunches, after I've done the dishes and wiped down the counters. This is usually around 10-11 PM. I'm tired, but like to watch "The Daily Show", catch up on my Spark teams, and play inane games on my phone. The problem is that by this time I'm so tired that I'm not really enjoying it; it's more like another thing I NEED to do (yes, I'm the weirdo who HAS to either get to the next level or use all of my "lives" on Candy Crush before I can stop, who can't get a notification that someone is awaiting my turn on Words With Friends without playing a word, etc), and the thought of turning off the phone makes me feel anxious.
I honestly think that a big part of my problem is depression/anxiety. I've been on and off medications for years, currently off. I have to change doctors because of insurance; I'm having trouble getting in to anyone. I hope I do SOON, and that whomever I find orders a lab panel. It could be that part of the reason I'm anxious/depressed is in my body--do I still have a slightly under-active thyroid, low iron, are my multivitamins sufficiently supplementing my nutritional needs?
I'm going to continue to take my "me time" at night, tired or not, until I get into a doctor. Once I see a full picture of why I'm so tired/anxious/down I will have a better idea of how to improve my "me time", making it a refreshing experience rather than a compulsion.