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The struggles are real.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

The new view someone gets when they lose weight...it can either be good or bad.
Let me explain.

The good: Person A has lost a lot of weight and Person B has been struggling lately. Person A provides comfort with positive comments and a "you can do it" attitude. Person B feels relieved that someone understands and that they have someone they can turn to and vent about their downfalls. Person A realizes that Person B is hard enough on themselves...Person A remembers they were once there a few months ago.

The bad: Person A has lost a lot of weight and Person B has been struggling lately. Person A provides unnecessary comments such as "You shouldn't wear ruffles" and brings with them an attitude that makes Person B feel inferior and ready to go home and curl up in bed with ice cream. Person B feels alone and doesn't understand how Person A can be this way. Person A forgets that Person B is hard enough on themselves...Person A forgets they were once there a few months ago.

Sadly, "the bad" view happened to me. I was Person B. See, I'm struggling...just as we all do at some point. I was out of the rut finally and heading upwards. I decided to put on a cute dress with ruffles, cardigan, leggings, boots, jewelry, and get myself outta the funk. I thought I looked cute. Person A came over and the first comment was "You shouldn't wear ruffles". Keep in mind, Person A is a person who is very close to me, a person I love, a person that has NEVER said anything that made me feel so low before. Person A was my mother. I sat there trying to fight all the negative things my head was telling me...trying to hold back tears and simply said, well it's comfortable. Of course at this point it wasn't. I was fidgety all day and really wanted to just put on a snuggie and hide from the world.

I never said anything to her, but I know she knew it bothered me by my reaction. She tried to be super nice and sweet the rest of the day...but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was just a fat person who looked bad in all clothing that even my mother didn't want to be seen with me.

Now, remember before her comment...I thought I looked good. My morale was high, I was happy, ready for the day, and in my mind...I was cute. Through this situation, I learned a valuable lesson though.

People are going to say things, things that they may have meant to come out different. People are going to hurt your feelings. People are going to have expectations of you. People forget where they started...

If you take anything away from this...please just remember where you started so that when others come along, you can be "the good" view that you want to be and that is way more helpful to them.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FREES1
    sage advice - and its great to see you back!!!

    2403 days ago
  • LEKESHIA35
    im sorry to hear that bc i know how that feel. I have been in that sistuation before. one thing i have learn that i have to be happy with myself and we have to learn how the take constructive critizem. by this i mean right now ruffles might not be right for you but keep in mind you keep up the hard work you will look great in ruffles. Then againi have seen people who has the perfect shape that different things dont look good on them. keep up the hard work you already have great progress going along so far. keep up the good work.
    2404 days ago
  • JOHNMARTINMILES
    You cannot be right for someone else if you are not right for you. Remember that the only opinion of you that really counts is your honest opinion of yourself!

    Make Today the Greatest Day of Your Life

    emoticon Until Tomorrow!

    2404 days ago
  • NOTABOUTHEFACE
    I'm so sorry that you felt that way. There is nothing worse when one of the people you love most makes you feel like poo. Even if it wasn't her intention, she still shouldn't have said that.

    Remember how you felt before the comment was made and as easy as it can be to say to try not to let it bring you down, do the best you can. I'm willing to bet you looked smokin' hot.

    emoticon
    2404 days ago
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