Weight Loss, Insecurity, and Men
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
So I have lost 50 lbs. YAY! The problem lies in that I think I felt more secure when I was heavier. When I weighed more I felt I could be myself. I was loud, funny, outgoing, etc. The weight loss is something that everyone I see is starting to notice. You would think that would be a good thing but I find myself so uncomfortable with it.
Let's start with men. I have guys in my life that I have known as acquaintances from places that I regularly visit. They didn't talk to me much and most of them did not even seem to know my name. I have noticed a lot of changes in that as I lose weight. When I go to the bar they are trying to find me a chair or give me a hug. They are calling me by name and I didn't even know they knew it. They are directly hitting on me.
I also have strangers that I do not know regularly hitting on. I get high fives when I just walk through the bar. I have guys holding doors for me. You would think that you lose weight to get this attention but I did not. I lost weight to be healthier. Now don't get me wrong, I was hit on regularly when I was bigger but now it seems like multiple times throughout every day.
This whole situation has made very insecure in myself. I feel like I am being noticed and not for my bubbly personality. I have always loved my personality and now it seems to be taking a back seat to looks. I still look in the mirror and see myself as 50 lbs heavier. I know it takes awhile for the brain to catch up to the physical.
The whole thing has a once very confident woman becoming a more quiet insecure girl. I hope my brain catches up soon. I really don't like all the extra attention. Ugh.