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Sparky Speed Monopoly

Sunday, September 29, 2013



The knock on the classic board game is that it takes too long to play. The knock on greater Spark success for many is failure to diligently track nutrition. Perhaps not to exercise sufficiently or effectively enough, but probably nutrition first and foremost.



With me so far? Here goes.

1. Get the Monopoly set out. You need all the parts, pieces, cards. If you have a good memory and a head for math, all you really need is a pair of dice, or a cellphone app that randomly generates numbers 2 through 12 with the odds of a pair of dice, but I get ahead of myself.



2. The players should be Sparkers or at least Spark-sensitive family members.



3. Dole out starting cash to each player per the rules but with one important exception: withhold one of the $500 mills. Call it the never-ending recession. The not provided cash represents the under-water housing market.



4. Remain cognizant of these custom, bankruptcy-hastening rules as you play: get $100 for passing Go, and not $200. Stay in jail until you roll doubles, period. Free Parking is not free and certainly is no bonzanza (that $500 is decidedly un-Sparky and is a huge game-lengthener), indeed and instead it costs $200 as does Income Tax (forget that 10% junk).



5. Drink a cup of the Sparky water each time you pass Go and each time you achieve a Monopoly of a color group, two or more railroads, or both utilities.



6. Both the payer and payee owes the other players (or one another) one jumping jack for every $10 or part thereof transacted as rent payment.



7. A player that lands on an improved property (with houses or hotels), needs to get up, go outside and run one lap around the building for each $100 owed. The recipient also needs to run with him/her as the Sparky exercise cop.



8. Each day of consecutive, successful, within range nutrition tracking, as demonstrated on an available laptop or cell phone app, exempts said player from exercise penances at a rate of one lap or jack per day. Once the exemption is used, its used though.



Have fun. Let me know, below or elsewhere, if you try this or any variant.

Have fun and report below, in blog comments on implementation of this latest idea from that ugly vermin-infested cesspool of frivolity that is my brain.
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