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FREEBIRD7100
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Super Stressed Out = Gained Weight

Sunday, September 22, 2013

**this is long and I am sorry about that**

Some might know this but prolly most of you dont, I have been under a ton of stress this year. Early in the year my Son was put in the hospital for a week. It was basically a cry for help on his part and a call to me to open my eyes and deal with my issues, like my PTSD. Something that has blinded me to mine and my childrens issues over the last few years. SO now I am working on changing things.

That is something that isnt going so great and smooth. My Son who is 15 years old uses this against me alot of the time. I am getting better at not allowing him to control me that way & he is getting better about understanding that his trying to control me is not acceptable.

This summer my daughters car seemed to start to go to pot & cost me almost 3000$ to fix. I had to take out a loan at work and a loan on my life insurance. She finally got a job to start paying me back, which she ended up having to quit because she was only getting a few hours on her paycheck & after putting gas in her car didnt have enough to buy sandwhich much less do anything else. That & she was getting treated like dirt from her manager. So she quit. Now she is back in school.

Then in the last 2 months my Mom has found out that she has stage 3A lung cancer. So now i have to take off work to take her to as many doctors appointments that I can. This week she got the port put in & next week she starts radiation and chemo.

This week also my daughters car engine blew up!! Was told how much it would cost to fix it & said ENOUGH! I decided that I would give her my car and I would get a new car. Not something that I wanted to do, especially since she isnt working but I felt that the Lord wanted me to go this route.

So with all of the loss in the family over the last 5 years (my Dad, my Husband, My Brother, plus a few other family members), my Son has had alot of issues with worry and pain over loss & now it is magnified with my Mom's health. My Daughter thought to work as a family health care worker for my Mom but she isnt able since my Mom owns her own home. So now she has to get out & start looking for a job. Money has been tight because i have had to miss work due to my health, my Son's health, and now my Mom's health. So now what do I do? I get another car payment! & prolly higher insurance payments.

In the end i would and will do anything for my family, even if it means putting me on the back burner. Even if it means not being able to pay my bills. Or paying them late. After this weekend I think my daughter understands now the importance of her getting a job, any job! I will be taking my Mom to Chemo treatments once every 3 weeks.

Right now I am so stressed out that a last week I had a seizure and my son was almost put into the hospital again. I have also sadly gained a ton of weight. Like almost 30 pounds. I am worn out and some days I just want to run away. I hate this feeling and I dont mean to be this way or to be a downer. I just wanted to let alot of you know why I havent been too connected lately & partly to get this off my chest.

Again, I am sorry for unloading but I do feel better for letting everyone know why I havent been my "happy-go-lucky" self. Take care and be blessed my friends. I think I am gonna go to bed right now as it is almost 2.30am.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FREEBIRD7100
    EILEEN,

    Thank you for your kind words and ideas. They are helpful and greatly appreciated.
    2438 days ago
  • EILEEN828
    Hi Freebird. I'm saddened to hear of your situation. It is indeed a difficult time, and grieving is a long process for everyone. Of course the world keeps spinning and makes us have to move on. What things can you do to make some of the pressure ease up? I would suggest focusing on doing little things that make you happy.

    Drink some of your favorite tea, stop watching or listening to the news, buy some music that is uplifting and soothing. Take hot baths with bubbles and use beauty products. Give both your kids hugs and tell them how much you love them and that you support them. Let them help you. Ask for help from them.
    Clean your house, you'll be amazed how uplifting it is to finally clear away a clutter zone, it gives you concrete results during a time when you think nothing is being impacted by your efforts.

    Plan some time with your Mom and kids that would be fun for all, like an at home theme dinner with a movie or board games. Be there for your Mom while she goes through her journey, the most helpful thing is to be there and comfort her, and be a shoulder to lean on. Remember that good things are coming your way too. Life has it's ups and downs, and one step in front of the other really will get you through to the other side.

    Focus on eating a lot more green salads and fruits, and drinking water. If you are drinking alcohol cut way back or just stop for awhile, it's slowing you down. Same with caffeine, dairy, sugar, and salt. Take time to meditate or just simply plan. If some one else had your problem, what would you advise them to do to make things doable. Looking at things from another person's perspective can remove stress and bring to light possible solutions when you don't feel the pressure to perform.

    Congratulate yourself for having courage, patience, faith and love. You are a strong person with amazing resilience, and you are succeeding! You get to decide how you are going to live your life with the circumstances you have. Don't worry if there is a "better" way to do things, that doesn't apply, it 's your life and your family. Your decisions will work best for you because they apply. If you feel you need other people's perspectives, then go ahead and ask away. Talking things out is a very good exercise I've found and just getting things out, off of your chest, goes a long way towards making things suddenly manageable.

    Spark friends support you too, so lean on us! emoticon
    2439 days ago
  • FREEBIRD7100
    Thank you Shell. I will add you as well.
    2440 days ago
  • CYBERCITYSHELL
    Wow Tina, no wonder you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. You have had a lot going on. emoticon
    I hope you can find some encouragement and support here in spark. Even if it won't make things go away or get better. At least some friendly people to unload to. Plus the groups have good topics and great people to talk to. I am also in the "inner healing ..." group.
    Take care Tina, and I am thinking of you. I am adding you as a friend emoticon
    Shell~
    2440 days ago
  • FREEBIRD7100
    Thank you Crista. Have a great day.
    2444 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13966857
    I think it's good that you're writing it all down in your blog. Sometimes it helps a little. You sure have a lot on your plate.
    2445 days ago
  • FREEBIRD7100
    Thanks Katwell! It is very appreciated!
    2445 days ago
  • KATWELL88


    wow you are busy and have lot on your plate and sorry on the stress that cant be easy for you. emoticon

    I have been dealing with caregiving issues of differnt way. My mother has various medical issues not cancer.. Some days are good and other times.. emoticon

    i want to fly away and have fun too emoticon

    So this is why im on SP to put focus on myself, for a change. emoticon

    Sending prayers and many hugs to u tina... emoticon
    2445 days ago
  • FREEBIRD7100
    Chelsea, as always, thank you my friend. Your words are so welcome and helpful! AF-NOT-DD, I have my family and I go to therapy, when I am financially able. I also lean heavily on the Lord. Happyme, thank you, all prayers are welcome. Thanks to all of you
    2447 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12499805
    You are not unloading anything, Tina, you are sharing and that's what blogs in SP are all about! Plus, how are we going to know how you are if you don't tell us? emoticon

    There is one thing I want to share that I think will help you. NO MATTER what else is going on, do 10 minutes of exercise, 10 minutes while watching TV, relaxing at the end of the day - just 10 minutes. Walk up and down the hallway (I have done that). THEN, any time of the day, 10 minutes of reading something inspirational whether the scriptures, uplifting articles in SP or online; a favorite book OR inspirational music. NO MATTER what, do that daily for AT LEAST 2 weeks. Then, slowly, introduce other things like water, eating veggies, no junk food, etc. Start small. I am telling you what I have tried and it does work. When overwhelmed, I kept it simple.

    Also, you need extra support or ideas, email me or write on my Spark page. I will do my best to help you. God bless you and your family and your home.
    LOVE, CHELSEA emoticon
    2448 days ago
  • JUST_BRENDA
    Wow, you certainly have a lot going on. Do you have any support?
    2448 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13564730
    I will pray for you....Stress can really mess us up....Hang in there...do your best....Keep putting one foot in front of the other.......Hugs and warm thoughts are being sent your way.
    2448 days ago
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