Super Stressed Out = Gained Weight
Sunday, September 22, 2013
**this is long and I am sorry about that**
Some might know this but prolly most of you dont, I have been under a ton of stress this year. Early in the year my Son was put in the hospital for a week. It was basically a cry for help on his part and a call to me to open my eyes and deal with my issues, like my PTSD. Something that has blinded me to mine and my childrens issues over the last few years. SO now I am working on changing things.
That is something that isnt going so great and smooth. My Son who is 15 years old uses this against me alot of the time. I am getting better at not allowing him to control me that way & he is getting better about understanding that his trying to control me is not acceptable.
This summer my daughters car seemed to start to go to pot & cost me almost 3000$ to fix. I had to take out a loan at work and a loan on my life insurance. She finally got a job to start paying me back, which she ended up having to quit because she was only getting a few hours on her paycheck & after putting gas in her car didnt have enough to buy sandwhich much less do anything else. That & she was getting treated like dirt from her manager. So she quit. Now she is back in school.
Then in the last 2 months my Mom has found out that she has stage 3A lung cancer. So now i have to take off work to take her to as many doctors appointments that I can. This week she got the port put in & next week she starts radiation and chemo.
This week also my daughters car engine blew up!! Was told how much it would cost to fix it & said ENOUGH! I decided that I would give her my car and I would get a new car. Not something that I wanted to do, especially since she isnt working but I felt that the Lord wanted me to go this route.
So with all of the loss in the family over the last 5 years (my Dad, my Husband, My Brother, plus a few other family members), my Son has had alot of issues with worry and pain over loss & now it is magnified with my Mom's health. My Daughter thought to work as a family health care worker for my Mom but she isnt able since my Mom owns her own home. So now she has to get out & start looking for a job. Money has been tight because i have had to miss work due to my health, my Son's health, and now my Mom's health. So now what do I do? I get another car payment! & prolly higher insurance payments.
In the end i would and will do anything for my family, even if it means putting me on the back burner. Even if it means not being able to pay my bills. Or paying them late. After this weekend I think my daughter understands now the importance of her getting a job, any job! I will be taking my Mom to Chemo treatments once every 3 weeks.
Right now I am so stressed out that a last week I had a seizure and my son was almost put into the hospital again. I have also sadly gained a ton of weight. Like almost 30 pounds. I am worn out and some days I just want to run away. I hate this feeling and I dont mean to be this way or to be a downer. I just wanted to let alot of you know why I havent been too connected lately & partly to get this off my chest.
Again, I am sorry for unloading but I do feel better for letting everyone know why I havent been my "happy-go-lucky" self. Take care and be blessed my friends. I think I am gonna go to bed right now as it is almost 2.30am.