July 2013 - It's Been One Hard Month
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
I feel a bit like July has been a wasted month.
I started off the month discouraged by the slow rate of change in the numbers on the scale. But I was seeing changes in my body, and worked to encourage myself to focus on those. That was a good lesson, I think. Just last week, someone noted that a colleague was really trimming down. The colleague, though, replied somewhat dejectedly that the numbers on her scale hadn't changed. But the difference in her physique is notable. So that encourages me that I'm not just "rationalizing away" a lack of progress when I focus on non-scale-victories.
The second week of July, I had a major schedule disruption as I went out of town for several days to help family move from one town to another. I didn't use the trip to go hog wild, but worked to make the best food decisions at least 80% of the time. I was away from swimming for those days, and I did a lot of driving with little sleep. So I felt run down. But I got back into the pool right away.
Then, last week I got sick. I'd been feeling so exhausted, and couldn't figure out why. By Thursday afternoon, I realized that it was more than the moving trip and more than the sleep lost in our major storm/loss of power last week. I was sick with the virus my son had a couple of weeks earlier. I spent the past four days in bed with fever, headache, cough, and a totally messed up sleep schedule. I couldn't even make an attempt at tracking food. I felt so sick, I didn't even care. Whatever I could grab easily, could make myself eat, and my son could fix for me was what I ate. That doesn't mean it was a gorge-fest around my house. Sometimes it was a glass of milk and a banana I'd eat. I made scrambled eggs and toast one morning, during a short respite from the fever. My son made some spaghetti shells for me one of the first nights, and I ate off those for three days because they were easy to heat up when I was alone. I had turkey or tuna sandwiches for a few meals. But I also had vanilla ice cream to cool my throat, and ginger ale and crackers to calm my stomach. So I have no idea what my calories were like for the past five days.
Due to the storm and my illness, it's been a week since I've been in the pool. I feel pudgy. Maybe bloated? It's not like my smaller clothing no longer fits or anything. But I feel different and I don't know if it's lack of exercise, if a few pounds have crept back, if I'm retaining fluids, or all three. I dread getting on the scale at the end of the week.
But I will do it. I will get to tracking my foods today, my first day out of bed and back to work. I may not get to the pool this week. My ears are congested and hurt, and there's still some bronchial congestion that affects my breathing. I'd love to get into the water tomorrow, but I don't know that it will happen. Depends on how much this first day back at work tires me out. Since I've been up since 5 a.m. and got little sleep last night, I don't have a lot of hope for feeling like swimming tomorrow morning.
I have to get rested up and ready for the weekend. I've got the grandgirls for the weekend, and we're doing back to school shopping. I'll have four hours of driving on Friday, and another four on Sunday - plus the shopping crowds to deal with. I probably won't back into the full swing of my normal routine until next Monday.
For August, I want to put the frustrations of July behind me and take on this fitness journey with renewed vigor and hopefulness. I am NOT giving up! Quitting is NOT an option. My journey may take longer than I'd like, but I WILL get healthier, leaner, more fit. One thing I've learned in life is that there is no such thing as idling. One is either making decisions that move one forward, or one is remaining in the past. And I do not want my past health to be my future health. So I'll make as many good decisions as life circumstances allow. That's the best I can do.