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My weight gain is starting to get to me..

Thursday, May 30, 2013

I came back full force to spark a couple of weeks ago. I had gained weight and knew I had to do something about it cause I really started to feel it in my clothes, and the way my arms kind of jiggle now, and how my stomach is starting to stick out a little more. I was doing really well, tracking my food, working out or taking long walks. I had lost 5 pounds from when I started sparking again. I weighed myself BEFORE the memorial day weekend, and I am now afraid to weigh myself tomorrow.. I had an awesome time this memorial day weekend. Went to PA for a night, went out to the movies sunday night and had a big BBQ on Monday with friends. But with all the food and drinks I had this weekend I KNOW I gained back those 5 pounds I lost.. lol I already knew I was gonna eat a lot on Monday. But all those leftovers, and going all over the place during the weekend kind of threw me off my game! So this week so far I havent tracked any of my food and yesterday was the first time I got SOME sort of workout in. Today I am going to walk home and then go to the gym. But my weight gain is starting to take its toll on me.

I woke up this morning and was trying to look for something to wear. Weather said it was gonna be 90 degrees today! First of all I got cranky cause my clothes are in a box right now and its annoying to look through the box and try to find a shirt because then the box gets super messy and I have to practically dig my way to the bottom or end up dumping everything on the bed picking a shirt and dumping everything back in the box. THEN putting on my jeans.. they all are SUPER tight on me but I refuse to buy a bigger size right now because A) That'll just depress me even more, and B) I dont want to get a bigger size for fear that I am going to think its going to be ok to eat a little more or whatever and then before you know it THOSE jeans are tight...

I am supposed to be in a wedding in August. My dress is already on its way and I tried on this dress before my weight gain and even then it was just a little snug.. Thinking about how I am going to lose some of this weight so I can actually fit in the dress is kind of stressing me out. I just feel so bleh about myself right now. I havent felt this way in a long time. I dont like my body and its messing with my confidence. I feel like wearing big shirts, I dont want to wear short sleaves, I was even thinking about how tights would feel so much more comfortable right now..

I am trying my hardest to push myself. I want to get back to where I was and I know this happens to people all the time, they lose then they gain, but it sucks that I was there and because of stress I just kind of gave up for a while. My weight started creeping up the scale and now its bringing me down..

I am sorry this is such a downer blog on a beautiful day! I just needed to let all this out. I want to feel beautiful, and strong, and sexy again. One of my sparkfriends (sokkernut) sent me the new Jillian Michaels book (thank you again!), and I put the new spark book on hold at my job so it should arrive hopefully by tomorrow. I am hoping these two books can also help motivate me because I really need all the motivation I can get!

Well hope you all are doing well and keeping up with your workouts and eating healthy! Stay cool and drink lots of water! I am open to any suggestions you guys may have! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LINDAMARIEZ1
    You can do it park friend! I know you can!

    emoticon
    1691 days ago
  • TASOGAREBAN
    Sigh. I just left a comment on this blog entry a few seconds ago and then somehow hit a back button. I was so motivational too! So I'ma try again.

    SO. I totally know where you're coming from except that I made my super-depressed blog earlier than you, lol! BUT. Once I blogged I really did feel a lot better and the sun came out too so it was cool. BUT! I know that you're a very motivated person when you put your mind to it but you have to PUT YOUR MIND TO IT. Think about how you felt when you initially lost those five pounds and go from there. To have a dress coming in for you is also a heck of a threat because that gives you an actual deadline. But I know you can do it because you've done it before. You just have to want to do it again. And I think you're getting to that point where you will start wanting it again. Just take it a step at a time. A healthy breakfast, a healthy lunch. Meh, mess up a dinner but work out. Baby steps until it all falls in line and then you'll already be on your way so you won't want to get off the ride, y'know?

    I know you can do it. Just WANT it.
    2428 days ago
  • RUNJEWELRUN
    Yay! You will get through it! I know what you mean about the scale. Glad to see you back!
    2430 days ago
  • BOVEY63
    Its always good to get your frustrations out, and that is what we are here for.
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    Don't beat yourself up for what is in the past. Take another step forward today, one more tomorrow and so on. You can do it and you will rock that dress at the wedding!
    emoticon
    2431 days ago
  • SOKKERNUT
    You are very welcome Y, happy you got the books. I know this feeling all too well, stress has alot to do with our weight gain but it's how we handle it that counts. I have faith in you, emoticon emoticon
    2431 days ago
  • NGCHILD
    HUGS! You are fabulous. You did it before and you will do it again. I have no doubt. Walk the walk and talk the talk sister.

    YOU CAN DO IT!

    emoticon
    2431 days ago
  • BUTEAFULL
    keep the emoticon as your motivation to stay on the straight and narrow...even if there is a party to attend between now and then
    2431 days ago
  • PRUPLEBEAR
    emoticon
    2432 days ago
  • MIZFENTON
    I came across your blog. And my... it sounds oh so familiar.
    Through my stresses I kinda gave up too. And I tell you.. it was so hard to get back at it. My clothes felt tight too and I was disgusted. It was like how can I pick myself up and make this happen?
    First thing was I had to be in the right frame of mind. and I knew that. I had to focus and when I got disgusted enough looking in the mirror I was like.. oh no. this wont work.
    I started cutting out so many things. soda, carbs, snacks, candy. starbucks. everything that I used as a crutch. so far... down 4lbs. And I no longer eat late... I choose what I eat very carefully. My bf doesn't think I need to lose weight at all. but its what I feel inside that makes me want to lose.

    I would suggest making one change at a time. It can be very overwhelming to make too many changes at once.. we set ourselves up for failure. set a goal and once that's pretty much set in stone.. set another.

    You can do it.. just remain strong and focused.. you will achieve great success!!!!
    2432 days ago
  • WALKINGSPARK
    emoticon
    2432 days ago
  • NATPLUMMER
    emoticon I know that bleh feeling....kind of feel that way myself. Just start back with the tracking and the walks and the workouts and you'll lose that weight again.
    2432 days ago
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