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Leaping Out of the Pit of Despair

Friday, May 10, 2013

Several of my good friends and coworkers are retiring from teaching this year. I must say that after 20 years in the classroom, I am jealous. You know the sad song teachers have been singing for years; student and parent apathy, negative press, pressure from the administration, students with fewer skills and more baggage. I'm sure that a great deal of what I'm feeling is also "MayFever", but I let my emotions get the best of me on Tuesday. I turned to food to assuage my negative feelings, and then Tuesday turned into Wednesday. I even started this morning with a not-so-nutritious breakfast of homemade peanut butter cookies. Lots of them.

I went through my day feeling sluggish and tired. I decided it was time to give up on this roller coaster of weight loss and just accept the fact that I am fat and I am going to remain fat. I figured that I should go ahead and order some more 2x blouses from my favorite plus size shop online. After school I put 9 items in my shopping cart and proceeded to whittle that down to my four favorites. Just as I was preparing to click "checkout" I felt inclined to take the dog for a walk. As I was walking I remembered how badly I want to run again. It felt great to get my legs moving and the air was so fresh with the smell of impending rain.

I walked for an hour and returned home with new resolve to get my butt back in gear. I was embarrassed to track my food, but I did it anyway. I chose to cook a healthy dinner and then I enjoyed deleting every item from my plus size shopping cart! I want to be healthier. I want to enjoy running and hiking. I want to have cute blouses and skirts and pants that fit. I can do this for myself and for the ones I love. The best part is, I will do this for myself TODAY! I will not wait until tomorrow to start over (like I typically do).

I start over NOW. I am one day closer to my goal. I am stronger than I used to be!
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