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Fell off the face of the earth but trying to make my way back!

Thursday, May 02, 2013

Hi spark friends!! I am so sorry I have been completely MIA for the past couple of months. SO much has been going on and I just couldnt get myself motivated to sign into spark, track my food and fitness, and keep up with all my friends, which sounds really bad and I do apologize! I hope you all have been well and keeping up with your healthy lifestyle! I have definitely gone downhill and if I dont do something about it I am just gonna keep gaining weight and I dont want all my hard work to go to waste.

I dont know how much I've gained cause I refuse to step on the scale... But I definitely feel it in my pants, I see it by how much my stomach is now sticking out, I see it in my arms, they've lost their definition and just starting to look flabby.. Its pretty bad. And what sucks is because I'm feeling like poop it kind of depresses me even more, but I cant seem to pull myself out of this rut.

I decided first things first though! Sparkpeople community and friends helped me the first time around so its time to reconnect with the website and you guys and make it work this time around too! I have a wedding in August that I am going to be in, I have another wedding that I MIGHT go to if my coworkers husband isnt up for going, and summer is right around the corner. I went to feel healthy, sexy and above all happy.

I do have a gym membership! I got it in january as part of my new years resolution. I am very excited about having it. I was going strong in the beginning but then things had started to get stressful at home and there have been a lot of changes going on that had slowly started to make it more difficult to stay motivated, and now I am just tired all the time and the thought of working out makes me even more tired. I havent been eating that great either, and also have been drinking a lot lately which is really bad and I really need to nip that in the bud because liquor has been the BIGGEST reason why I've gained so much in such a short time.

Im sorry my return blog sounds so depressing lol but I just sort of feel like I have to confess my sins lol.

But I see my coworker, who started weight watchers, watching her eat all this really healthy yummy looking food. Losing weight little by little and I feel that tiny spark that i know is in me, that wants to ignite so I am back to happy and healthy Nadine, but I just cant seem to light it up.

SO it is now or never. I can only make the changes needed to feel good about myself and as much as I don't FEEL like doing it, I HAVE to do it for me. I have to start tracking what I eat. I have to start tracking my fitness. I have to visit my sparkfriends and join some new spark teams. I want to start fresh. I am going to weigh myself when I get home even though in the beginning of my blog I said I refuse to.. lol I cant be in denial. I need a slap in the face to let me know how far I've gone off track and its time to get going in the right direction. I am going to use the two weddings to help motivate me! Also my friend said she wants to also lose weight so she can wear one of those bustiers that are out and oh so popular right now lol She turned to me and was like, "that's it! We are gonna lose weight so we can wear one of those for the summer!" So I am thinking about buying one and hanging it up somewhere where its in my face so I can tell myself every time I walk past it , "I am going to wear you and rock your world!" haha

I hope you guys arent mad/disappointed in me for falling off the face of the earth but I am slowly making my way back! They are baby steps, but hopefully this helps me get back to the body I loved not so long ago!

Have a wonderful spark day!
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