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Slightly Discouraged Today

Monday, March 25, 2013

Trying not to feel discouraged and blame myself for my body's reluctance to let pounds go right now. (I'm shrinking in inches, still.)

What happens is, I start telling myself that what I choose to eat can affect my weight loss as well as how much I eat. So then I think it's possible that even though I am always staying within calorie guidelines, I could do better.

Maybe if I stayed away from bread and also if I was less inclined to spend my snack calories on treats from Starbucks, I'd have lost another three pounds by now. Maybe if I ate more salads and soups and kept my calorie count under 1300 per day.

I ask myself, "Why can't I do better?!"

And I categorize it all as a failing on my part, as if building muscle to the point where I am bench pressing half my weight doesn't count for anything. As if my 50-pound weight loss so far is to be used as a judgment against me ("Look, you did that. Why can't you continue at that pace? You must be slacking off!").

What frustrates me is that I am doing all the right things. Yet when I go looking at SparkPeople articles for help, they seem to imply that the only way people stall is because they backslide -- make poor decisions, have binge-sessions, lack the will to follow through.

That's not me!

I am passionately dedicated to healthy living and my weight loss journey. I make good decisions (maybe not always the BEST decisions, but good ones nonetheless). I don't give in to cravings, or if I do it's always weighed and measured.

My worst "binge" was one time I had two premeasured portions of Jelly Bellies one after the other because I just couldn't stop after one. A premeasured portion is 40 grams (approximately 35 pieces), or 140 calories. But I tracked those 280 calories and fit them into my day.

In my former life I'd eat half a kilogram of Jelly Bellies at one sitting, mindlessly munching away in front of the computer. Over 1000 empty calories. Granted I'd call that breakfast and not eat anything more until midafternoon, but still.

Jelly Bellies for breakfast?! I've come a long way, baby!

But not far enough. It seems I'm not good enough, not working hard enough, not doing well enough for my harshest critic these days: Myself.

Ah, Spring, please come soon. I know that sunny weather and the sight of flowers in the garden will wash away the gloom I am feeling.

Just waiting for the weather, and the scale, to change...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • J0ETTE
    You are doing amazing! Re-read your blog.. Start looking for the non scale victories you mentioned. (There were a lot!) I know it can be real tough to not let that number on the scale define who you are, but it is just a number. A measurement at that moment in time. It fluctuates many times through the day.

    Give yourself permission to be amazing!
    2940 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13590869
    I think you're doing great!
    2940 days ago
    You took the words right out of my mouth. I work out and have been making good choices in the food department, but the scale keeps telling me the same thing. Actually I was up this morning cause I had popcorn and pop last night, and I rarely have pop any more. I know I'm losing because I put a pair of jeans on this weekend that I haven't been able to wear comfortably since fall. I think I need spring too, so I can get outside as well as exercising at the gym. Keep going forward and if you want the jelly bellys, count them in your calories and enjoy them, don't feel guilty and eat them quickly, but savor them and move on without feeling guilty.
    2940 days ago
  • GAL7288
    I know how you feel, lately I've been working my but off and watching what I eat, and the scales seems to be stuck, even though I feel my clothes a tad bit loose!? I don't understand how that happens but I take it one day at a time, and as long as I know I am doing everything in my power to help myself, I am ok with it. I too get mad that it seems nothing is happening, when before the scale seemed to never stop going down, but look at it this way, you have the ability to do this, you have proven it before, you can do it again. I guess the minute you stop criticizing yourself and stop stressing about the darn scale, is when you will actually see what you have done.

    I am so glad Spring is here, definitely a motivator for me! Keep on, and you'll see how amazing you are!
    2940 days ago
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