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Quick Note on How We Love to Hate Each Other

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

I just had a "moment" in the work bathroom. No, not THAT kind of moment - get your mind out of the gutter!

I was doing my thing and I heard two women come in. My company has a French Canadian division, so there are a handful of people here who speak French. I am new and I generally don't usually go around telling everyone I took 12 years of French in school. So these women come in, speaking french, TOTALLY trash talking a third woman (not present) up and down. I mean - commenting on hair, style, the whole nine yards. I'm sure they didn't know I could understand them, but I was BAFFLED by how MEAN they could be about someone else!

Why is it SO DAMN EASY for us to be this way? I know I judge pretty much everyone, and I try to keep those thoughts to myself, but how can we love and be nice to ourselves when we so flippantly criticize others? No wonder the meanest voice I hear is my own - I'm not producing any positive energy and no one else is either! Maybe it is some fall back from our caveman days of having to size people up to protect ourselves and to keep our society going, but WHY are we SO MEAN?!

Not only to ourselves, but to others... hmmmm? Even just in your head?

We seem to love to hate, and we don't build each other up - like - at all. Well, minus a few wonder exceptions on Sparkfriends of course!

Just food for thought today. It definitely made me think twice about trashing myself when looking in the mirror!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You said it perfectly..we talk to ourselves this way and think nothing of talking the same way about others. If only we weren't so controlled by our own insecurities and treated everyone including ourselves with kindness. I've been working on this lately.

    I found a post on Pinterest called Karma Cleanse, which I have printed out and keep front and center at work:

    Be grateful
    Act with love
    Check your motives
    Watch your attitude
    2578 days ago
    You said it perfectly..we talk to ourselves this way and think nothing of talking the same way about others. If only we weren't so controlled by our own insecurities.
    2578 days ago
    I think it's often a way to feel better about ourselves - the logic (or illogic) being that if others look (or perform) worse, then I look better. Not my logic, but I've known people who seem to function that way.
    2578 days ago
    The old saying "why can't we all just get along" is SOOO true. If there was less hate in this world it would be such a better place.
    2578 days ago
    My therapist told me something the other day. I've heard it before but I had never heard it explained the way he explained it to me. In the bible it says Mark 12:30-31 "Love the Lord your God...love your neighbor as yourself."
    He said, "How are you going to love your neighbor if you don't love yourself?" I am extremely nit-picky when it comes to myself. I expect a lot from myself and I will ridicule any failure for years even the tiny ones. If I am like that with myself it only makes sense that I wouldn't have grace for other people. I feel like I have a tender heart when it comes to peoples faults that are natural like a person with a mental disability or a physical disability. But when it comes to things people say or do that come from their own volition it is all I can do not to think something mean. Most times I keep it to myself but I know there are times where I can't wait to run and share it with my bff. Things like someone wearing whack job makeup or mini skirt that should have been avoided.
    When I begin to learn to love myself and cut myself slack maybe I'll begin to do that for others. That's a pretty tall order...ugh

    2579 days ago
    I only care about the opinion of people I respect/love/admire. For all the others, I REALLY don't care. If people want to be mean, it only goes back to them... Positive thinking is medicine emoticon
    2579 days ago
    This saddens me too. Wish we all (when feeling the urge to say something negative) could stop and think before we speak. I feel guilty even judging someone in my mind. Would I want someone to think or speak poorly of me? No. But unfortunately many people don't think the same as you and I.
    2579 days ago
  • MARTY728
    Some feel better about themselves when they trash others and it is sad. Never let them know you speak French and you should be able to hear more in the future. I was raised speaking English and Italian. In school and then college I took Spanish because it was easy since Spanish is similar to Italian. In fact I minored in Spanish, however only relatives and close friends know I can speak Italian and Spanish. Being bilingual really does come in handy at times!
    2579 days ago
  • JEWELLE217
    You're a better woman than I am. I would've come out of the bathroom and said to them in french "What do you think? You just stepped out of a fashion magazine? Grow up!" Then I would've walked out.

    I can't stand it when women treat other women that way. It's like they never made it out of high school.

    2579 days ago
    its sad,,,,but when people do that, its more about the,,,then who they are talking about,,,,,
    2579 days ago
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