FRUSTRATION = scale = unfair

Having over 100 lbs to lose. buckling down, training, sweating, tracking all my food, drinking water, getting the veggies in, having over 12000 steps daily, not being able to walk every night from foot pain AND STILL..
Last 3 weeks, I lost 3 lbs and gained one back.
Other people with maybe 30 lbs to lose, change their diet add a workout and boom down 7 lbs.
The scale doesn't define me? Um, when you have 100 lbs to lose. Um, YEAH it does.
I don't get it.
I have tried it all.
I drink the tea, Dr Oz said to. I have been taking raspberry supplements everyday for months because, well, couldn't hurt.
I feel slightly better physically but the pounds stay.
It's not muscle.
Surgery is not the answer.
It's not nutrition. It's not the workouts.
There is something physiologically wrong. My grandmother died young, she was chubby, she ate what was available in Norway, which was all natural foods.
My mother died young.
So if I can't learn to love how fat I am, I will die miserable?
Pretty much.
No suggestions please.