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Decide 01/20 Control or stay fat?

Monday, January 21, 2013

Decide is the first part of our DO IT weekend. today is the last day of the StrongEnd and I have been mulling the DECIDE over on my head since thursday.

And OH AHA! there it is the old procrastinator rearing it;s lovely head putting it off until the last minute. I have had lot going on but I decided to make this commitment 4 days ago. Why did I not post it. My challenge on my other team is to blog 3 times this week and comment on about 10 other blogs! And here I am at the last moment doing it all.

Procrastination is the bane of consistency. How can you be consistent on a daily basis if you procrastinate and leave all until there is no more time. So my goal this next 12 weeks is to take control and JUST DO IT.

I posting my just DO IT photos here to remind myself of what I want from myself. This weekend I took control by tracking my food, True I don't have all the nutrient facts yet but I do KNOW what I ate and it isn't all that bad, Not the best but I should be in calories and I have not eaten all day like I did last week when I was blissfully being unaware of what was going on with me!

THis winter my focus is control of my portions, control of what I want, control losing weight. No more letting anyone else determine my portions and just going along with it. No more eating the food sitting around at work unless I Write it down BEFORE eating it and planning on how to work those calories into my plan.

I am going to take control of my workouts if I don't, I will not keep getting better muscles for other people to notice and that was a big plus for me. It made me want to get better. Now I have to set new goals and control them.

How do I control my nutrition and exercise?

1- set goals for nutrition and exercise.
2 - determine what I Have to do to reach those goals.
3 - track my goals and here is the important part, not weekly, not daily but when it happens, I need to use those darn trackers I carry around with me everywhere. I have to remember that the journey is a learning process and I will not always make 100 % but I can achieve 90% if I take control and work hard
4 - recognizing what makes me out of control.
5- acknowledging past issue that let me eat my way through life.

I watch the BIggest LOser, and I cry as the contestants have large revelations about what has been holding them back from taking control of life and losing the weight. I have glimpses of what are my big issues throughout my life. I like to feel that I let go of most of them years ago but perhaps not, so Will list a few here.

kids who called me the jolly green giant

kids who taunted me with fatty fatty 2x4 couldnt get through the bathroom door so she did it on the floor

kids who picked me last for games, kids who called me four eyes

adults who stare and whisper behind their hands

adults who drooled to be my friends when I wore a size 10 but would not have thought about being my friend when I was a size 16

men who thought I was so stupid that they could take what ever they wanted and I would not be hurt by them.

Men who did not care if they hurt someone

skinny models who look like normal sized people and have their own eating issues

me for not realizing I was important enough to be worth the efforts required to be a beautiful me. I did not realize I was a pretty girl until I was over 40 when I had some beauty pictures done. It was through Mary Kay, my appointment was at 8:30 pm and they ran late. so another lady who was very pushy insisted on having her appointment on time. As it turned out, I got the best make up artist because of this. And I then she took longer doing my make up so I got what she considered the best photographer. the pictures were amazing. When I first got the pictures, I wondered if I had the wrong pictures, cause the woman in those pictures was gorgeous and that was definitely NOT me!

so here I am 20 years later admitting that woman was me and even more so I am worth being the best I can be, I am good at my job (another 30 year acknowledgement in the making) and I am worth taking as good care of me as I do the rest of my family.

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