Update

Since my last journal entry, I have gone off and done things on my own a bit, it fits with the blossoming. I would love to go more into it here, but I am not sure that will happen. It's a part of my life that I don't think I ever want made "public" on here.

I'm going to be brief, because I am recovering right now and really just small tasks like typing wear me out, but here goes:

I haven't had a binge since November 19. Today is December 26. I call that a win.

I have been journaling daily in a different format, and it has helped me immensely with dealing with stress and pretty much life.

I had surgery on December 21. I had an abdominal supracervical hysterectomy and sacral colpopexy (pubovaginal sling).

Basically, I had my uterus removed through an incision above my pubic bone. Directly beneath that incision, I had 2 more to go in and do a sling repair of my bladder. I was in the hospital from Friday until Christmas Eve (Monday evening).

I can't do much for 4-6 weeks. I can't drive for 2 weeks. And right now? Walking sure is a pi$ser. But, the surgery had to be done.

I can't run for quite a long time. I can't work out for a long time. I can't lift anything above 10 pounds this whole time. Again, not much I can do. And I can tell why. Like I said, most anything wears me out right now.

But, I felt I had to get in here and update.

With my weight, I am wanting to get back to 160. However, there is NO time limit. No race to be won here. It's a work in progress. I am not making unnecessary demands on myself. No tracking, not really. I do write down what I eat, but I do not focus on points, calories, or even really how much I had of it.

And this is not a format I would expect to "work" but for me? So far, so good. I weighed 206 pounds on November 13. On December 21, I weighed 194.8.

Win-win-win-win-win.

I am in a very good place, and have been in that good place for over a month, going on 5-6 weeks. I hope to remain in this good place.

Do I have plans for running? For races? Not really. I plan to participate in a 5K on the weekend of St. Patrick's day, and of course I do hope to participate in the Fargo 5K and Go Far Challenge. But.

But, I am not promising myself this. I am evaluating as I go. I know I will at least WALK each of the 5K races. Hmm..

This feels quite liberating really. I know I will run more and more down the road, more races. But, I am not going to shove into it so much as I was before. I am being smarter about it. I am feeling my way through this, because to keep this all fluid, instead of being "hard" and not changeable, is what is working.

Or that could be the pain medicine talking. Who knows.

Merry Christmas :)