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November 24, 2012- Where I've been, where I need to be...

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Here I am, two days after Thanksgiving, thinking of the thousand things I need to be doing and yet, not quite sure how to go about getting myself going. I know that from a priority standpoint, nothing, nothing is more important than getting my body up and moving, as I have not exercised in way too long, other than hopping on the exercise bike on Thanksgiving Day for 10 minutes before I jumped in the shower..

I have been busy at work for the past month or so. One of the major parts of my job is to run the election for our city, and it becomes a very consuming job as the day gets closer and closer.. So it started when I decided I needed to get to work early.. So my morning routine of walking Scooby and then coming home and walking Tony to the bus stop and then coming home and showering and getting to work on time gave way to getting my morning stuff done, driving Tony to the bus stop and going directly to work, an hour early. Then I'd sit pretty much for the whole day, not even going to lunch, and at 4:30 would leave..come home and make dinner and play chauffeur on those nights I needed to, attending meetings on nights I needed to, getting stuff done here at home as I could like doing laundry, straightening out..etc.. Then I'd collapse into bed, only to have to do it again. I tried my best to eat well during this time, but as time goes along, the absence of exercise causes me to lose any ability I might hold on to to eat well, and, well, it's just all downhill from there.

So now, the election is over, the post election work is pretty much done, and I can get back to "normal." Only now, I have to admit, I have little interest in walking Scooby, as he cannot seem to get the hang of walking without doing his business at least once or twice, and auddenly, it is repulsive to me to have to deal with that.. When I was in a groove, it was just what had to be done, but now I just want to go out and walk..put the headphones on, listen to some good walking music, and go..but for some reason as much as I know that's what I want to do, I'm not doing it, I'm sitting here writing about it instead, because I must admit, that even though I know there is nothing more important than the exercise, I'm also thinking about the laundry, the food shopping, the Christmas decorating, all of which must be done right now.. and I have a cold, and my head hurts, and my nose is dripping, I'm cougihng up a storm.. Oh what mess I am right now, at 8:42 on this Saturday morning..

So I'm not even sure why I am sitting here writing all this.. Except I know that writing it at least gets it on paper in front of me.. One thing that I have done, every single day for the last 363 days, is come here to Spark and spin the wheel. Over that period of time, I have had some periods when I've been eating well and exercising, and other times when I've done no such thing. My weight has not really changed, and at the weight I am at, and at the age I am at, it is not good that I have made no progress in that department. I know this, yet I can't seem to change it, and yet, here I have been, coming here and at least spinning that wheel for the last year, every, every single day..

I am both fascinated by my insistance on doing this, and disappointed that I have not done more. I can't seem to find that magical place that I have found at other times in my life to put myself in a position to get it done. I've always been willing to do the hard work, but for some reason, for the last few years, I just cannot, cannot, consistently get it done. I do it for a few weeks or months, then I lose it.. And here's the thing, I know what I must do, I know how to do it.. I just don't seem to do it.. I've said these words before, right here in my blog, I've said them aloud, I've said them in team posts, I've said them in emails..

And here I am, saying them again, under the fog of a headache and a head cold..and hoping that the words will inspire me to get up and get out.. Because it feels like today is the day it needs to happen, I need the endorphins of the exercise today more than any day in a long time.. So off I go...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TINATC26
    I just want to say...I just love my Sparkbuddies!! Thank you all for your thoughtful, supportive, loving comments, you are all the best! I can report that I transferred some 70's walking music onto my MP3 (with more than a little help from my D, DH!!) and went to a local walking track by the beautiful Merrimack River and took a 30 minute stroll.. Day 1, accomplished!

    Thanks again to everyone, you are all awesome!! xoxo
    2896 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2896 days ago
    emoticon Tina!

    I think you are just beginning to pull out of the "election slump" and I think you should totally celebrate at this moment that you maintained your weight during the whole thing as you were definitely off the normal routine. emoticon

    Maybe treat yourself to a few walks without Scooby just to get the groove going again and then give Scooby a couple defined days to break it all back in and I'll bet you're going to enjoy those outings with Scooby again. You were soooo enjoying them before!

    As you've told me many times.... just get started! BUT allow your body time to heal from the cold before you do too much as it works against you for exercise and how long the cold will linger.

    emoticon Cheering you on!! emoticon
    2897 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/24/2012 4:52:24 PM

    You have been so extremely busy for the past few months, so you do need to cut yourself some slack. It is tough. Hang in there and remember that we are all here for you!!
    2897 days ago
    Sounds like you need major "ME" time. Take a break. Even if it only 1/2 hour a day. JUT DO IT!
    2897 days ago

    Go slow. Be God-struck. Grant grace [to yourself as much as anyone]. Live Truth. Give Thanks. Become the gift [to yourself as much as anyone].

    May today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May you be overwhelmed by the grace of God as it simply "overtakes" you moment by moment... rather than being overwhelmed by the cares of life!

    2897 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/24/2012 10:25:16 AM
    Here's a few examples of a few of my breakfast plates: Plate #1 was filled with salmon on one half with the other half veggie. Plate #2 was lean pork, and an egg with veggies. Most of my veggies are fresh, i.e. sliced sweet bell peppers or cucumbers, or steamed zucchini or spinach. I'm ravenous with a bowl of red grapes and sliced bananas!!

    Oh, and my energy levels have really began to kick in with upper arms shrinkage and... I've got a waist again!!
    2897 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/24/2012 10:18:46 AM
    That's just 'the thing' T, your mind set it working against you, imo. You're saying, " I know what I must do," and you've explained all the reasons for insisting to yourself and in all that you say on posts, emails, etc., but... that's just 'it' about what you've 'done' to yourself. You're placing this YOU MUST DO, attitude to something that you really will WANT to 'do' once your mind (and body) eliminates all that negative.

    Just about EVERYTHING in your life is a MUST DO, already. When it comes to you, you naturally put that same label on your eats and activities and since you have (pretty much) no control over all the other things that MUST be 'done' you totally rebel when it comes to you. Why? Well, again, in my own opinion, it's about the only thing you 'can' rebel against and take back some control over your own life.

    Try not to eat potato chips or any of those other crunchy 'gag-n-a-bag' snacks. I'm reading The Paleo Diet, by Loren Cordain, Ph.D. (and her cookbook) but even with protein, she states legumes should be avoided. Her simple truth 'in a nut shell' is, cereals and legumes contain ANTI-nutrients that prevent the body from absorbing proper nutrients, and can damage the gastrointestinal and immune systems.

    She says, too many grains and legumes disrupt the acid balance in the kidneys and contribute to muscle mass and bone mineral 'content loss' as we age. You know we need to keep our pH in the basic balance of acidity and alkalinity, so, with our fruits and veggies 'doing' the alkaline, lean meats, fish, grains, legumes, dairy, and salt 'do' the acid, but the grains and legumes produce a negative.

    The meats/fish, and even possibly a small bit of dairy, give the acidic balance without the negative imbalance of ANTI-nutrients from legumes and grains. She also says certain NUTS that are better than others, i.e. macadamia and walnut, because of the fat ratio. Try eating to a higher protein level, and you'll see your body burn calories with hardly any effort. I know I am seeing those changes, myself.
    2897 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/24/2012 10:05:44 AM
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