Long time NO blog
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
Yes it has been a long time since I have blogged on here. I have lurked but that is about it. I am getting back into gear in making time for ME! GOSH this is SOOO hard when you are a mom of 3 and a girlfriend and practically a mom to his daughter too. I have never been good at being selfish. This is how I felt last night when I dropped my son off from his counseling appointment and ran to the gym. SELFISH! I am not prepared for this so my kids ate microwave food for dinner. Why is it when I am doing something for me something has to give and I feel bad in one area of my life. UGH It is frustrating and it is the thing that ultimately makes me quite. I don't want to quite though. I hate being bigger. I no longer want to squeeze into my clothes. Everyone around me has recently been losing weight too so this does not help. I am back up to 192. I swear my body loves this weight? WHY??? Why can't it love the 150's? Why does it feel comfortable and cozy with all this extra blubber on it? UGH. I did work hard last night in the gym. I did this machine that isn't a elliptical and isn't a treadmill I forget what it is called but I think it was the machine for death. UGH I did it for 15 minutes. It is suppose to be better than the treadmill for you? Really? I couldn't last and I didn't burn a lot of calories either. PLUS the lady said it was low impact and shouldn't effect my knees....are you kidding me?? My legs were so sore!! I did give it a chance and I am interested so I will try it again but I went to what I knew the treadmill for 35 min. I ran 3 miles then did the weights the trainer has me doing. I did this 6 week pass for $10 and I got 3 personal trainer sessions then unlimited tanning for the 6 weeks too! So far I have been 3 times since last Thursday. The weekends I spend up in Bellevue so I don't come down and work out just to much gas so I am trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I just hope the selfish feeling goes away and I can work out with peace and know I am doing the right thing. BALANCE that is what I need. UGH how do I find Balance? I just feel over whelmed at times and something gives and that is me. BUT I am standing up and I am going to talk to the kids about balance and where they can help me because I am grouchy and not as nice when I am gaining weight and not eating healthy and working out. I am a better me and a better mom I think ONCE I get into a routine. SO PLAN of action get organized and prepared better~!