Self Support Doesn't Mean Giving Up - One Day. One Step.
Monday, October 22, 2012
I have this ridiculous habit/personality trait.
When I start feeling down, I disappear. In a sense, I feel like if I don’t have something good to say, something positive or if I’m not moving in a positive direction, then people will not want to be around me or hear from me. I go off, by myself, brood, overthink, stop moving forward and become stagnant.
I don’t know where I got that mind-set. No one can always be up – there have to be some not great days so you can appreciate the good days.
This system is simple: track your food, move your body, be honest with your choices, always move forward – and repeat.
I tried to change this formula up, started to fail and just quit.
I’m also so much better at lifting others – than I am, at times, myself – again, silly again that I can’t just say, “Hey folks – I need a lift….”
Bull-headed, prideful silliness.
I do not have supportive people in my household. The idea of getting out and doing something, eating something healthy, creating a healthy environment seems so alien in this household. Even my mother-in-law, who has the best intentions and who I love dearly, has made comments like, “so I hear you don’t cook for your family anymore since they won’t eat your healthy food….”
I’m a good cook. I know how to make things flavorful – but God love my husband, he jokes that he has the pallet of a 12 year old red-neck, but really, he’s not kidding. If it’s fried, covered in gravy, served with ranch style beans and a load of white bread and butter he’s happy.
But – I’m not.
I’ve got to stop feeling guilty for doing this. I shouldn’t feel bad when I come in my office to work out. I shouldn’t feel bad if I turn down drinks with my husband. I shouldn’t feel bad if I opt for grilled protein and veggies while my family insists on having fish-sticks and french-fries! Argh!!
I’m worth this path. I need to do this for me. One day. One step.
I can. I will. I am.