Drill Sergeant Pep Talk
Monday, October 08, 2012
Still working on my mental preparation for losing even more weight.
I think that having a short term goal -- being out of plus-size clothing -- was great, but now I am struggling to work past that, to find a new goal that is meaningful and that "clicks" with me.
I have said, tentatively, that after I get below 150 pounds I will take up running. But, on a practical note, it will be around the end of February when I reach that goal, not a good time to take up running. So realistically, my thought should be, "Next Spring I will take up running."
I don't like to add dates for each 5 pound loss, which works well for some people. Although I need something to propel me forward mentally, that sort of micro goal could end up being very frustrating, like daily weighing. (Something else I seem to have lost my compulsion for at the moment -- though that might also be temporary.)
The thing is, I like what I see in the mirror already. I already have a great sense of accomplishment at what I have achieved so far. So, even though it might seem counter-intuitive to be negative, right now I need to concentrate on the deficit, how much more I still need to accomplish. So bear with me. This might not be where you are at right now, and you might not need the same thing mentally as I do. If so, stop reading now. This is my pep talk to myself, and it's going to seem harsh. But harsh is necessary if I am to keep going!
RHYMESWITHBABY, you've come a long way and you know you look a lot better than you did, but you are still fat. You are not even just overweight. Don't kid yourself -- that BMI is still in the obese range.
You cannot run on your metal hip. At this weight, the forces involved will wear that thing out before you are 65 and then you'll have to have surgery to fix the problems. Do you want surgery for that? No!
You are fine-boned. You were never meant to be heavy in the first place. That you are heavy and that you have become strong is an anomaly. You do not have to be weak, but just because you have the strength to carry this weight on your bones does not mean that it belongs there. You have to let it GO now, and become the small person you were always meant to be.
You naturally want to compare yourself to how you looked six months ago. Of course you look better than you did then. Your face is slimmer, your hips are smaller, and your new clothes fit you better. But what about people who never saw you six months ago? Do you think you look anything but "fat" to them? You know you do not. All you are now is less fat than you were. Less fat is still fat!
You are still only 1/4 to 1/3 of the way along your journey. Now is no time to get complacent, to stop and smell the dying flowers of autumn. No. You need to keep forging ahead. You know that the dark days of winter are going to make everything harder, so you need to renew your commitment NOW. The next 25 pounds are waiting for you to lose. Only YOU can make it happen, and only if you remain committed to your goals.
You CAN do it if you stay the course. Don't start wavering now. You NEED this. Do it for YOU!