And it kinda tastes like sweat, with a little blood mixed in for that extra kick. In this past week I've come away from training nights with more bruises and scratches and general pain and soreness than in the past, what, year?
I vacillate between telling myself "Why did I wait til the last minute to train this hard!" and "Where I'm at is where I'm at, and this fight isn't over yet."
Obviously the second thought is a more productive one. But I have my dark days (or dark hours, realistically - once I'm on the mat, I forget to be moody).
It's hard not to feel like I'm doing something wrong sometimes, whether it's my mood not always being positive and confident like it "should" be, or that I'm not being all aggressive and hard-working enough.
When people tell me I'm working hard, doing well, or all these questions are normal, I fall into that "but you don't UNDERSTAND... it's DIFFERENT with me!" trap.
If you recognize that sentiment, you were probably a teenager...
I know, everyone's different, everyone has their highs and lows, everyone has their little demons to face.
Maybe I'm just too much in my head.
I just need a hug. From a hot, local, single guy. Who totally wants me to win and get on with some one-on-one celebrating.
I'm accepting applications to be my post-fight private party.