First of all, if there are any cooks out there willing to help me revamp a recipe, you can find the info at my other blog: fitfatgirlblogs.blogspot
I have to tell you that I felt better yesterday than I have in a long time. It's like the pressure was released from my shoulders and the worries melted away a bit. (Not completely...I'm not insane here! I still WANT to lose weight and stay healthy so there will always be that little nagging "Are you sure?" question in the back of my head.) That lasted most of the day.
I do have to note that I was a little hungrier than usual yesterday...but I should also note that even though I planned on eating 2 slices of pepperoni pizza last night, I stopped at 1 and a half because I knew I was done. And that, my friends, is the power of not feeling pressured. I didn't emotionally eat the rest because I was angry about the situation and about the guilt I felt over eating it. In fact, I wasn't even feeling guilty. Of course, there was a comment from Hubs that made me want to slither into a ball, but...I know he didn't mean it the way my sensitive brain took it. He honestly just doesn't understand this whole "giving up without giving up" thing. I don't even know if I fully get it, but my body seems to understand.
I have done both morning workouts - yesterday and today - two days in a row without guilt and shame pulling me there. I simply tell myself, "This is your schedule. Today you have to get your workout in early because you have to take Ethan to football tonight." And off I went.
Yesterday it was swimming 1500 yards like a friggin' champ! (That's just 150 off my 1 mile mark!!)
This morning, it was Workout A1 from Stage 1 of New Rules of Lifting for Women. And I did it up smart too...I actually warmed up and cooled down and stretched before and after without nagging myself or fighting myself on it. (Warm-up was 5 minutes, level 13 on the bike. Cool down was a little run/walk intervals for 5 minutes, followed by 5 minutes of real cooldown slow walking on the treadmill.)
So far I feel soreness, but not pain. I do need to ice my hip and back, so I'm going to have to invest in an ice pack to keep here at work. Manage it, Esther. Manage your body.
The best part about all of this is that last night, without feeling rushed or overworked, I was able to take my youngest to get his football gear as the season is starting this week! Of course the first thing his coach told him? "You need a hair cut, Bub!" *lol* My poor son has my hair - thick, coarse, and his is even a bit curly as well. It grows SUPER fast. Just months ago we got him a mohawk cut that was pretty short...but now it's just an overgrown mess again. I'll be taking him this weekend to get it buzzed, though, because when he's under that helmet on hot nights in August, he does not need any extra heating from his hair!
Of course, it's not all sunshine and rainbows out my butt. I did have a moment again last night when I realized that I don't really know the moms like they know each other. A lot of them grew up in this area together and it is just SO difficult to make friends as adults. When we were kids it was so easy, "You like My Little Pony!? Me too! We are BEST friends!" Done. Now...well, honestly I have no idea how to make friends with these women. *shrug* I want to be included but I don't want to force myself in... *sigh* (bad Mom moment incoming) ...it might help if Ethan was more of a rockstar on the field. I feel like too often he's simply forgotten. And he lets it happen. That could all change this year, though...it's his 2nd year on the team and there are less kids and he's one of the biggest. Should be interesting...
So, there ya have it.
Oh, and I made my own deviled eggs today with my homemade (Paleo) Ginger Mayo! NOM! A great post-workout snack!!