Well, I am hanging in there! Despite dealing with a new job, my kids being home from college, having a major birthday and taking steps for divorce, I haven't done anything self-destructive! I'm eating okay and holding my weight steady, but I haven't exercised as much -- I'll have to work on that one.
First off, I really enjoy the new job working at a construction company, which is entirely new for me, and I'm learning all sorts of new things.
Next, I really enjoy having my kids home for the summer -- lots of laughter and fun, but it also throws off my normal routine -- more cooking, cleaning, picking up, changing my plans, trouble finding time for exercise, etc. I sort of fall back into the "Mommy" role sometimes, but I only have them for a few more weeks, so I'll enjoy them while I can, especially since this will probably be their last summer home. I hate that this has been a bad summer for them with the drama between their dad and me, but I've also been glad I wasn't completely alone at times and had them to lean on a little occasionally.
Then, I turned 50 last weekend and had a great surprise birthday dinner at a restaurant I have been wanting to check out. Kudos to my kids for pulling that one off and getting friends and family together for the surprise! It turned out to be a pretty good birthday for me!
Finally, for the last couple of weeks I have been dealing with the soon-to-be-ex. As soon as I got my first paycheck from the new job, he told me we needed to get moving on the divorce since I have a job now (literally -- I got my first check on a Friday for 2 days' work; he told me this on Saturday). He seemed to go out of his way to be as awful as possible in the week before my birthday, but I just limited dealing with him as much as I could until the day after my birthday, then we sat down and did the financial affidavits. The problem now is him thinking he is being too "generous" -- he figures if I agree to most of what he has "offered" then it must be bad for him rather than what is fair. He can't understand why I would rather have a mortgage in my name than letting him pay off the house, why I would trust him to pay allimony but not a house payment, why I would rather keep the mutuals intact rather than cash them in, etc. I think he is just frustrated that I won't let him dictate my finances. It's silly things -- he is willing to offer more per month for allimony but then gets upset that it's permanent because we were married over 30 years! *sigh!* It's just nitpicking the details, I guess...!
Anyway, I am being mindful of the positive changes in my life. From a financial standpoint, I actually got excited this week when I got my own credit card, found out I have an excellent credit score, and looked at ordering "girly" checks for myself. As far as my state of mind, I don't walk around feeling frightened and worried any more, and I have started noticing I like seeing and repeating these words to myself: