Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'
Friday, July 13, 2012
Ai yi yi. Well, here I am. I am not off track too badly but yet I am still not on my goals or where I want to be. I have blogged before about the fact that I am not able to lose weight unless I am 100% on plan and borderline obsessed. I have too many other things going on in life to be that way right now and my beyond controlling type A personality is having a hard time.
Life is life and I have responsibilities and things that I have to do just like the next person. This interrupts best laid plans no matter how much motivation I have or how good my intentions. I am not purposefully seeking out bad decisions or purposefully giving into temptations but they are still a part of my life right now. I can not and will not beat myself up about it. Doing that is just unfair to me and my body.
I'm on a journey right now to love and be less critical of myself and to those who I am closest. I have entered a new phase of life and I am determined to shed that blame game and self-deprecation m.o. I have developed.
I'm learning that in order to live a life where I have joy and laughter I have to let go of the reins and accept set backs as well as victories. One tenet of spark is that this is a journey not a race. There's no reward at the end of my life for having lived thin but miserable. The reward is the day to day happiness in myself and those around me.
So I'm still forging my own path to acceptance of myself and trying to find that balance...it's hard to find, probably because it is ever changing within us. But each night that I can close my eyes and be content with my actions of the day towards myself and others is a small victory and I will welcome each of them with a smile.