It's a Miracle!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Hey! Look at that! I'm logging in on a Saturday! Cool, right?! I made a comment on my girl Ang's blog that part of my focus problem might be my avoidance of Spark on the weekends...so here I am. Not avoiding.
Yesterday? Not such a great day. Overate and not overly happy about it. BUT...and that's a big butt! *snort*...I can still make this work. If I can drop my cals for the next few days I can still make my weekly goal of a 2400 average. I just have to be proactive. I have to consider yesterday a high calorie day and move on and make the rest of the days work for me.
As for my workout? Last night was not good. Not sure what was up with me but my body just wasn't feeling it. Did 480 yards in about 16 minutes and then got a nasty headache and had to stop. Causes? I'm thinking it's either 1) I didn't properly fuel my workout and/or 2) I was a bit dehydrated and/or 3) my stamina has dropped a bit. Either way, I did go to the gym and got in the pool and gave it a go. And I did swim 200 yards without stopping, and then did 2 x 100 before the problems kicked in. Gotta just keep moving on.
It's Mommy & Me Day with Ethan (my 10-year-old). It's a day when I take one child out by himself and hang out with him - usually it involves a bit of shopping and some lunch somewhere. Now I know Ethan wants to go to Quaker Steak & Lube, but I have to figure out how to talk him out of it. 1) They don't put any of their nutritional information online on their website, which always makes me nervous. I mean, what do they have to hide? I stopped going to TGI Friday's because they were being jerks about putting their calorie counts online. 2) I don't think they have much of anything that could be considered healthy. I looked at some of their "healthy" fare and it seems we're looking at 500-600 calories easily for not much food and a CRAPTON of sodium (we're talking 1500mg per dish). So...how to convince a 10-year-old that we should go somewhere Mommy can "afford"??
Problem #2 for the day? I want to go out and try a walk/run...but I'm nervous. Scared, actually. And I have no clue why. I guess I'm just afraid to get back out there. I remember I used to be nervous every Saturday before a run, so it's not necessarily a new thing, but it's been a while since I've forced myself to simply get dressed and get out there. I need to spend the next 10 minutes or so getting my head back in the game and convincing myself that it's not a negative thing even if I have to walk the whole time. I have to convince myself to just get out there and do 10 or 15 minutes if that's all I've got in me. Because I want my running legs back under me. I ordered new shoes yesterday (finally!) so I need to have a reason to use them. Honestly, I was avoiding getting them because it gave me the perfect excuse not to try...but I've eliminated that excuse and in about a week they're going to show up at my doorstep. Do I want to cry in shame when they get here or do I want to be excited for the miles they could bring me? Gotta get my head back into it.
Gotta stop thinking it's not worth it.
Gotta stop thinking I can't do it.
Gotta get my mojo back.
Gotta rebuild my hope and restart my goals.
Gotta remember what it was 2 years ago that made me finally decide to get off my butt and try, without any expectations and simply with the thought that I could try and it wouldn't hurt anything to make some positive strides.
Gotta stop putting so much pressure on myself.
And I have GOT to stop hating myself.
One step at a time.
I have to remember that.
I started this with baby steps.
I started this with praising myself for those little steps, not telling myself they were too little to count.
I need to make a fresh start and stop being so scared of failing that I don't even try.
I'm still scared...