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Trying to accept that getting bigger is okay

Monday, May 21, 2012

I'm 14 weeks into this 3rd pregnancy journey of mine, I'm already into the second trimester, and things continue to rapidly change.
I fought so hard to get all that extra weight off, to become healthier, stronger, more toned and now I feel my clothes getting tighter, more snug, and uncomfortable... this is a whole lot harder to accept this time around from my other pregnancies. Why? Because my other pregnancies I wanted that big round belly, and I set myself up to end up with an additional 77 pounds from developing poor eating and exercise habits. I just want to do this right... and I'm trying really hard... but no matter how hard I try, my stomach IS going to expand because I'm growing a child. While this is such a blessing to most, this is also something very difficult for me to accept.

Knowing that before too very long, I will no longer be able to wear the clothes I've been fitting perfectly into.

Seeing how some outfits are no longer flattering on me because the waistline is beginning to dig into my growing baby bump.

Feeling how uncomfortable some of my clothes are... pants (jeans mostly), belts, bras, and on and on it seems to go!

It doesn't make it easier to accept this and move on when I'm growing so much faster than my first or second pregnancy. The first baby always takes much longer to show... my second while faster was still longer because I had extra weight. But this time, it feels like.... BAM!!!!! Here I am!
Throw in knowing that things are going to get harder, and I'm just kind of a ball or emotions... how do I mean? Well, my running has already been affected by several factors that have come and gone; nausea and extreme fatigue. While being nauseous for the most part has left me alone, I'm still struggling with being tired. I'm still running, but not as much as I would like, especially with this summer heat coming in.

So what am I going to do? My belly will only get bigger and totally uncomfortable to run with, and at this rate, that won't be too terribly far off.
I'm looking at picking zumba back up more regularly because I can modify my intensity level and it's indoor(A/C BABY!).

I don't know how else to explain how I'm feeling right now other than trying to wrap my head around being bigger for a good reason. This is the only time it's okay to have a round stomach, to put on weight... but I have to do it right, and I'm doing my best -I know that's all that matters. And yet, here I am trying to "suck it in", and constantly hide my changing shape. Imagine my situation... you finally drop all the weight you've needed to in order to be "healthy", you've been told how gorgeous you are (I know I know... it's not that I'm going to be ugly or ever was, but follow with me please), You've had SO much more energy and accomplished so much.... and now it's changing week by week!

You can't run as far, or as fast, or even as often... you're exhausted MOST of the time, and you're whole body is physically changing, bigger belly, tighter clothes, bigger belly, tighter clothes, oh my! I want to be positive, I don't want this to be something I obsess over, so I suppose the reason I'm obsessing is so I won't obsess! Haha! Does that make sense?? I want to be in the right frame of mind, I really truly want to do my best, to watch the scale, not worry about it.

Well, this is where I'm at, and I imagine anyone else who has or will lose all that extra weight and find themselves pregnant will go through this too. We have to keep pushing forward, and rocking it out.


Second trimester... 14 weeks


Much love!

Em

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TRACYZABELLE
    You look great!!
    3230 days ago
  • PYNETREE
    I wish you strength...to eat healthy. You know that you'll be able to get back into losing weight as soon as you feel strong after the baby. You will be able to exercise through your pregnancy...but as you said just modify it. Switch to walking in place of running. Go early in the day, beat the heat.

    But baby that baby you are carrying. You'll have time later to worry about your weight.

    emoticon
    3231 days ago
  • AUSSIEFLOSS
    Aw. Well, you will feel much better in this pregnancy than you would have, because you lost the extra weight. I think your baby bump is going to be much prettier too. a nice round one! Not like my 3rd with a flab of fat hanging under the baby belly. Blech.

    Keys to help you stay fit would be to stay away from the junk food as much as possible, especially soda. Take in a good amount of protein, and keep your weight in check. I don't mean to say, don't gain any weight, just moniter. I don't know if you really need to hear all this. I'm sure you know...I actually lost weight with my 3rd pregnency, but it was because I took better care of myself. I gained 25 lbs and all of it was baby, uterus, placenta and amniotic fluid. I know I lost weight (fat) because after I had the baby I weighed 20 less than before the pregnency.

    My first baby i gained about 25 lbs. My second, I didn't gain any (fat), weighed the same after the baby born. And the 3rd. like i said was even better. Just stick to it! You can do it.

    Think of nutrition verses fat...or gaining weight. The more i thought of nutrition when I was pregnant, the better.' Do vegetables need to be added to my lunch time routine?' I would ask myself....or 'does this doughnut really provide any nutrition or is it just fat and sugar?' It helps a lot!!

    emoticon
    3250 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4199227
    Congrats on the pregnancy!

    Don't worry the running will be there waiting for you.!

    You have the tools now - so the baby wieght will be much easier this time!

    See you at the finish line in - oh about 8 months or so from now!
    3251 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8576432
    Continue to eat right and exercise to increase the likelihood of staying healthy and having a healthy baby. Much success and joy to you!
    3251 days ago
  • LAMASTERS77
    It's absolutely understandable to feel that way. Part of the key is continuing to make the healthy food choices. Yes, you are eating for two, but the second one doesn't need all the calories of an adult. If you continue to listen to your body, eating when you are hungry and not eating when you are not, with healthy food choices, the rest will fall in place. Another key is finding activity that will work for you. There are workout DVDs designed specifically for pregnant women - yoga, pilates, etc. These can be awesome because some of the focus is on the muscles used to support the pelvic floor as well as the core, which decreases some of the usual aches and pains from pregnancy changes and supports the muscles used for delivery. You may also find that breaking your workouts into smaller sections lets you use your energy level better and keep more activity in your day. Also, you may find different times of the day work better based on your energy level and normal fluctuations. Overall, I think acknowledging that you have the fears and frustrations is probably the most important, because you've done that and can now face them and move through them. Good luck!
    3252 days ago
  • GOGETTERGIRL
    Wow I haven't been on here in a while and just learing that you are pregnant. That is so awesome. But I hear your mixed emotions, fear, and apprehesion regarding he weight issue .While you are celebrating the new life you are mourning the temporary lost of the body shape you worked so hard to attain, all the while dealing with changing hormones and fatique. Its ok to feel what you are feeling. Will be praying for you. Gods knows our hearts and our needs ((((hugs)))).

    emoticon
    3252 days ago
  • CMD703
    As someone who has struggled with my weight my whole life I do know how you feel about gaining for the pregnancy. Try to look at it this way: just the way you have been doing life right - with healthy eating, working out, right attitude - focus on doing pregnancy right! Same thing: healthy eating, right kinds of workout, goals for your weight, just be in control and you will be fine. Instead of running do you have a place where you can swim? I loved swimming through my pregnancies. Your body feels normal in the water! It's a wonderful feeling and you can exercise without putting any additional strain on your joints. And for after the birth, do you breastfeed? If you haven't before, consider it. Aside from all of the other benefits, it's the natural way to burn off all those extra pounds. If you're eating healthy and providing sustenance for someone else you won't believe how fast you can drop that weight.

    It's just an adjustment, but you have all the tools to make it work and you will if you stay focused on yourself as well as that precious new life. Good luck!
    3252 days ago
  • LRSILVER
    You look awesome. Just watch what you eat, and do healthy exercise. If you wear fitted maternity clothes, you won't look big only pregnant. I understand how difficult it is for you, but once you have the baby you will be fitting into the same clothes again.
    Good luck.
    3252 days ago
  • JMARISK
    You look awesome! Please don't get upset over your growing bump. I managed to succeed in my weight gain goal for my pregnancy, but gained a bunch right afterwards. I stopped running during my pregnancy too, but I compensated by walking a lot and watching what I ate. You're stronger than I am so I know you'll have no problem staying within your weight gain limit. And I know that once your precious baby is born you'll have no trouble going right back into your running routine.

    You'll be fine. Do what you need to keep yourself and your baby healthy, and when he/she is born then you can focus on your new body.
    3252 days ago
  • MANNO001
    Dont fret! You look like a skinny pregnant girl lol. I hear they have pilates for pregnant women and it is a great way to get some good (safe) physical exercise while you're pregnant!
    3252 days ago
  • MOMMY2GWJ
    I could have written this a few years ago.

    After losing a good amount of weight after my first child, I became pregnant with twins, lost them both, then became pregnant AGAIN with twins (someone up there really wanted me to have twins).

    I gained the recommended weight, about 55 pounds, and delivered full-term. I have never regretted the weight gain, although it has been a struggle to lose the weight. But, it's a struggle that I know how to win....and you do too.

    You will run again. You will lose the weight again. And you'll be an incredible role model for 3 kids.

    Best of luck.
    3252 days ago
  • DJSHIP46
    Congratulations on the new addition. With all the changes you've made to get where you are... I'm sure you'll bounce back really fast this time. Try to enjoy what each day brings you!
    3252 days ago
  • RSWIFE
    Congratulations on your pregnancy. I think you look fantastic. Just continue eating right, geting enough rest, and you will be fine. When running is uncomfortable try walking. I know the intensity is not the same, but walking has great benefits. I did not lose any weight until after I was done having my kids, so I can't claim to know how you feel. I can only imagine. Just try to stay positive and remember you are growing a life, not a belly. Lots of luck to you always!
    3252 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12026085
    a baby is TOTALLY worth it ... and now that you know you CAN lose the weight, i bet you won't have trouble getting motivated to do it after you new joy is born .... congratulations ....
    3252 days ago
  • SHFELKEY
    I am 15 weeks pregnant, so we are due around the same time! This will be my first, so I have a lot to learn. You look GREAT! Keep up with your exercise and healthy eating -- you AND your baby deserve it! emoticon
    3252 days ago
  • TMEYERS25
    Congratulations on the weight loss and most importantly the pregnancy. Remember you cannot change what you do not control. I watched Oprahs LIfe Class yesterday and here are some words of wisdom - whenever you argue against reality you will suffer. So stop trying to change the things you have no control to change. Enjoy your pregnancy. Its a mental thing you are battling. It was hard work to lose the weight, its going to be hard to maintain it but YOU CAN DO IT! Good Luck! emoticon
    3252 days ago
  • FOXY13445
    U look great hun, don't let your brain tell you otherwise!!

    I have not had any kids of my own yet but after reading your blog I agree that this will prolly be the most difficult. I think getting back into zumba and easing off the running is a GREAT idea!!

    It will def be a journey in itself but YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS WITH SUCCESS!!!

    SO EXCITED FOR YOUR NEW ADDITION!
    3253 days ago
  • KIBAISREADY
    Oh girl how I can relate. I had just lost 72lbs and still had more to lose when I found out I was preggers. I felt the same way u do and I finally accepted what I can not control. I put away the scale and was that such a relief lol. You will do fine. Wishing you a healthy baby and pregnancy.
    3254 days ago
  • CHRISKENANDKIDS
    I completely understand how you feel but you look so CUTE!!!! Look really closely at that picture. Look at your upper body - forget the belly - look at the rest of you. You look HEALTHY and adorable. NOT overweight at all. I was so WIDE all over with every pregnancy - including my 3rd. I'm jealous! Hee hee! You are adorable!
    3254 days ago
  • AMBERRULE
    oh my goodness!! I am so excited for you Em, I am 5 weeks with my 3rd as well! I am having the same issues! Although I never did reach my goal weight and ended up putting back on 15lbs due to stress eating and NO exercise. I am happy though that I am the smallest I have ever been with any pregnancy so far, and I feel good but I really wanted to be down to goal so that when my baby belly started showing you could tell, and that I wouldn't just look like I am getting fatter lol. You look beautiful Em, and although your clothes don't fit right just remember that when people see you they see a beautiful pregnant woman, your all baby belly my dear, and I would find that comforting! I can't wait till my baby belly starts showing but until then I will be working out and toning up and walking to keep my pregnancy weight gain in check!!! I can't wait to hear more about your pregnancy and see more pictures!!
    3254 days ago
  • MAMACAT2_3
    P.S....you're looking teeny and all belly, and simply adorable pregnant!!
    3254 days ago
  • BRIANNADUNN
    I have so been there. It took me 2 yrs to lose the extra weight from my second child and I was the thinnest I had ever been and I got pregnant with Twins. Just remember to breath and walk as much as you can. You will be able to jump right back into exercise a few weeks after your little one is born.
    3254 days ago
  • MAMACAT2_3
    This pregnancy is going to be great, and you are a wonderful mama for giving this baby such a great start to life, by being in the best shape you could be in to go into pregnancy! You've learned so much about what it means to nourish your body for health. Not only will you and the baby reap the rewards but it will pay off when it comes time to deliver baby and for your body to bounce back, as it will. Just enjoy all of the great things this new life can bring you, and try not to worry!!!

    emoticon
    3254 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3300558
    Em! Im so sorry your exhausted, and you dont feel "comfortable" in your own skin etc. This time it IS different, because THIS time your healthy. Once your little one, you will get back down or at least close to your pre pregnancy weight, provided you continue to eat healthy and exercise :)
    I think Zumba would be AWESOME :) not only would it make u feel better all around, but i think mentally it will have a huge impact on you. I wish i was as tiny as u are having ur little one. Instead, i looked like i was carrying tripplets LOL. Your as HEALTHY as they come mama. U will fit back into those clothes before u know it. In the mean time pick up a few maternity things, so u can feel cute when u need to :)
    And u best be craving, fruit salad every day :)
    OH and if it makes u feel ANY better, im feeling exhausted too, i feel like i havent slept in WEEKS! My 3 yr old refuses to let me sleep. If i EVER thought about having more kids, THIS STUNT shes playing, made me NEVER TO WANT THEM AGAIN! lol. I will just enjoy others LOL! Make sure u send me tons of pictures!!!!! LOL
    I'll enjoy from afar :D
    3254 days ago
  • ARUNNINGKAT
    I am sure I would feel the same way in the same situation. However, I also know that you will quickly return to your pre-baby weight as soon as the little bundle of love is here. emoticon
    3254 days ago
  • CHAOTICMOM4
    That is the most beautiful picture! These next two trimesters will be over in a blink of an eye and you'll be back at it. Remember this is a journey, stopping in one place wouldn't be any fun. You've taken a side trip and you'll be rewarded soon with a precious gift.
    emoticon
    3254 days ago
  • ANGELWENDYMAMA
    Hugs, Em. :)
    3255 days ago
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