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It Could Have Been fatal

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm sure that many have had those turning points that send us in the wrong direction. We listen to our thoughts, not our heads. We ignore all that we have learned and act on our feelings.

I'm talking about those situations when: We had a really bad day and are convinced we have gained 10 pounds, just knowing that 'it is all over' so we don't even get on the scale to find out that it was not bad at all. But - the damage is done - we have sabotaged ourselves.

This morning I entered one of those dangerous situations.

"Yesterday's Pilates class was a Great workout but completely exhausting and I think I left a pool of sweat behind. I was totally drained for the entire evening. Looked at my Fitbit and was going to have to work just to reach 5000 steps. Seriously - I was in a bad way - I reached a saturation point after several days of hard work. That's okay - not really a problem.

But this morning I came to work with my Breakfast Bar and went looking for a banana. I was hungry and think it was part of the exhaustion from the previous night. Not the greatest breakfast but it has worked for me - often add PB with it, so it's cool. Well, no bananas. What I did find was an orange, apples, string cheese, grated sharp cheese, and grapes. I literally was raiding the refrigerator and as I came back to my office with goodies in tow, I thought "I am pigging out - I have totally blown it - it is all over". You see, at 178, 60+ pounds down, this is that scary area that, with too many 'hiccups' I can completely lose my momentum and head in the wrong direction. This is NOT an option for me anymore - never again. BUT it was scary.

What did I do? Did I throw everything out? No - I came to my desk and decided I MUST log in all this food. I entered the 10 grapes, SMALL apple (which it was and it was DELICIOUS), strip of string cheese, the 2 Tbsp of Shredded Cheddar, the Kashi bar, I even remembered the 5 almonds I had at home earlier, AND the orange that will be my morning snack. Have I used up all my calories for the day - (which is what it felt like)? GOODNESS NO!!! What on earth was I thinking - What kind of damage was I prepared to do to this new ME? We can be our own worst enemies. UGH!!!

No ,-it was actually a GOOD breakfast!! A healthy number of calories, a decent combination of fiber, fats, and carbs. Almost a breakfast that should be considered 'replicable'. I DID NOT destroy my progress but almost destroyed the future of this journey - this NEW ME - this new lifestyle.

Seriously - I know me - this could have been fatal. This is a huge wake up call. NEVER GIVE UP - Never Give In - Never Go Back - Never Forget - Never Stop Learning - NEVER Take My Eyes Off the Prize!!! What prize? Oh - A New Healthier Happy ME!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Trying to lose weight makes us crazy sometimes, I really believe that. We don't see reason when we should. Thank you for sharing and helping to keep all of us in perspective!
    2799 days ago
    You have made the changes necessary for SP to be a lifestyle and not a "fad diet"! You raided the fridge and came back with a large amount of food, but all excellent choices! I am so proud of you! You have also learned not to listen to that little devil telling you that you have blown so you should just quit! He is not your friend! BUT SP is and we know you can do it! emoticon

    Great job, my Titan friend!
    2801 days ago
  • IAM_HIS2
    emoticon emoticon
    2801 days ago
    This is advice I have given out and it is so true - just log it - tell the truth - and you often find out, your body reached (mindlessly) for good stuff. It is when we binge from emotions that we reach for the chocolate and ice cream!

    2802 days ago
    emoticon Proud of you for what you have accomplished and sticking to it! emoticon
    2803 days ago
    You are doing great and I'm really proud of you!!! emoticon
    2804 days ago
    You did the right thing and you didn't even know it! Look at what you picked - nothing in that list was bad for you! YAY! Congrats!
    2804 days ago
  • SHOES17
    WOW you have so inspired me. As I was reading I kept thinking that is healthy. You had fruit and protein. It easy to get on the piggie jig, where you think oh what have I done. Then you track and it isn't bad at all. I have been shocked at how much more I can eat since I started actually tracking my food. Sometime it is the type food that makes the difference while other times it is the portion. It is all a lifestyle change. It sounds like your lifestyle is right on track. emoticon
    2804 days ago
    Me too. I still have no idea how much to eat, what stuff, or when to stop. I'd be lost without my tracker on my iPhone. Actually I wouldn't be lost. I'd just be 350 lbs.

    It guides me for what to eat, how much of it, etc. And pre-logging stuff like you did, is so helpful.

    Good Job, using the tools you've got.
    2804 days ago
    Funny and frightening how we can convince ourselves untruths are true IF we aren't paying attention.

    2804 days ago
    Can totally understand this! Thanks for sharing. What a great device the food tracker is! Love to you.
    2804 days ago
    That a girl! Keep your head in the game! And isn't it surprising how small amounts of good food can keep you satisfied and the calories don't skyrocket??

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2804 days ago
    I'm often surprised how few calories that the good stuff actually has. Glad you were able to get a hold on your emotions and think logically, before you had a melt down.
    2804 days ago
    Wasn't so bad after all. I do that too--binge on crap--only later I realize it was (mostly?) healthy crap, and wasn't so bad after all. But you're right--it's a dangerous slope!
    2804 days ago
    So True!! thanks for the great blog!
    2804 days ago
  • KARENA228
    We are sometimes our own worst enemy. You're doing great and you're definitely motivated. Keep up the great work! emoticon
    2804 days ago
  • DEBPRE16
    So glad you logged the food and were glad you "pigged out" on good food. I have gained some weeks and been very slow to lose but I haven't given up either.


    2804 days ago
  • SENZ2001
    You're making huge changes! emoticon
    2804 days ago
    2804 days ago
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