It Could Have Been fatal
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I'm sure that many have had those turning points that send us in the wrong direction. We listen to our thoughts, not our heads. We ignore all that we have learned and act on our feelings.
I'm talking about those situations when: We had a really bad day and are convinced we have gained 10 pounds, just knowing that 'it is all over' so we don't even get on the scale to find out that it was not bad at all. But - the damage is done - we have sabotaged ourselves.
This morning I entered one of those dangerous situations.
"Yesterday's Pilates class was a Great workout but completely exhausting and I think I left a pool of sweat behind. I was totally drained for the entire evening. Looked at my Fitbit and was going to have to work just to reach 5000 steps. Seriously - I was in a bad way - I reached a saturation point after several days of hard work. That's okay - not really a problem.
But this morning I came to work with my Breakfast Bar and went looking for a banana. I was hungry and think it was part of the exhaustion from the previous night. Not the greatest breakfast but it has worked for me - often add PB with it, so it's cool. Well, no bananas. What I did find was an orange, apples, string cheese, grated sharp cheese, and grapes. I literally was raiding the refrigerator and as I came back to my office with goodies in tow, I thought "I am pigging out - I have totally blown it - it is all over". You see, at 178, 60+ pounds down, this is that scary area that, with too many 'hiccups' I can completely lose my momentum and head in the wrong direction. This is NOT an option for me anymore - never again. BUT it was scary.
What did I do? Did I throw everything out? No - I came to my desk and decided I MUST log in all this food. I entered the 10 grapes, SMALL apple (which it was and it was DELICIOUS), strip of string cheese, the 2 Tbsp of Shredded Cheddar, the Kashi bar, I even remembered the 5 almonds I had at home earlier, AND the orange that will be my morning snack. Have I used up all my calories for the day - (which is what it felt like)? GOODNESS NO!!! What on earth was I thinking - What kind of damage was I prepared to do to this new ME? We can be our own worst enemies. UGH!!!
No ,-it was actually a GOOD breakfast!! A healthy number of calories, a decent combination of fiber, fats, and carbs. Almost a breakfast that should be considered 'replicable'. I DID NOT destroy my progress but almost destroyed the future of this journey - this NEW ME - this new lifestyle.
Seriously - I know me - this could have been fatal. This is a huge wake up call. NEVER GIVE UP - Never Give In - Never Go Back - Never Forget - Never Stop Learning - NEVER Take My Eyes Off the Prize!!! What prize? Oh - A New Healthier Happy ME!!!