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Monday, April 02, 2012

My Heavy Bag class was a success. I've never had so many people in a class. 6 people, 1 more than we actually have heavy bags for.

They liked it, thought it was a tough workout, and hopefully will come back for more next week.

Good stuff.

Now for the rollercoaster of today:

This morning got all dramatic with my trainer, for the second time in 2 weeks, where he said "We're done. You're no longer my client."

Obviously, I took that well. Fortunately, after some jiujitsu, a cooling off period, and being roped into our gym's softball game, I am his client again.

Yes, in the span of a day.

Hopefully he got it when I told him what was at the heart of all the tension.

Those of you who've read my blog know that on occasion, I'm a little hard on myself. I'm a tad frustrated. I may sometimes feel like I'm wasting his time. So I have a little mental breakdown.

I controlled it, but not enough apparently.

I will always have issues. But I can't let them stand in the way of the most important goal I've ever had. This is the one that counts. I've never even felt this strongly about the relationships I've had, and I was engaged.

Ok, that probably says more about the relationships than the strength of this goal... whatever.

You get my point. I need this. Fighting is too much of me, too deep in my heart, to throw it all away for ego. It's been suppressing my need for a romantic relationship. Not completely erasing it, but my focus is very much on training, supporting my trainer and the gym, and that's been pretty much it.

I just... want it.
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