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Awfully close to the Danger zone

Friday, March 30, 2012

I don't know if anyone else feels this way, or has had this experience, but I'm very sensitive to my most morbidly obese friends, and sometimes they can bring me down without even trying or meaning to. One of my closest friends and prayer partner is lost in her physical disabilities right now, and those problems, diabetes, and bad circulation in her legs, are being worsened by her compulsive overeating, and probably binging, as well. I have tried to gently help her, offering suggestions that have worked for her before, and my support. She is "passively" rejecting my help, and squeaking through one health test after another. She's playing close to the edge, and I'm beginning to wonder if she really wants to get healthy. I know it's bringing me down. For one thing, I can't share my current success like I would want to, because my joy makes me feel like I'm bragging. Two years ago I lost a very dear friend who was over 600 pounds. His morbid obesity got him in the end, and it was so heart breaking because he was such an intelligent, kind and handsome man, but too fat to live. I suffered the same pain watching him kill himself as I am now with my other friend. He loved to travel and go on adventures, but wound up being shut in to a small studio apartment, criticizing everyone who came to help him. My dear living friend is also shutting herself into her small crowded home. She has family living with her, but it's a dreary environment, and everyone there has every kind of physical complaint, and it's all she wants to talk about. She, like my late friend, always says"we," including me in their mess. It's bringing me down, and being a sensitive person, I may have to back off (again) for a while. Watching my friends suffer from their food addictions and resulting infirmities makes me want to react by eating and overeating. I pray for her and with her, and for myself to be delivered and set free once again from this deadly obsession.
I needed to blog this today just to organize my thoughts and see if what I was feeling was valid, or just selfish. What I have discovered is that my own food addiction recovery, and road to health, is very precarious, and I don't have a lot of strength or will power left over. I look at my friend and I see my own reflection. It scares me, and well it should. I see myself as being just that close to the edge, although I'm struggling in the other direction. I'm going away from the food, not towards it, but I'm beginning to push the envelope with allowable foods. TIME TO WAKE UP AND SEE THE DANGER ZONE, because I'm awfully close.
I'm a little bit clearer now than when I started writing so I will get up and do something, preferably outdoors for awhile. Have to take myself out of the danger zone. I'm too close to the kitchen from here! emoticon emoticon emoticon
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    emoticon emoticon Carol
    3028 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10752350
    You know what is best for you to do just go and do it.
    3028 days ago
    Oh Pattycake17, I see your dilemma. I think I see it from the other side.

    My sister stopped socializing with me for similar reasons. There is hope. We drifted apart by this negative aspect in my life. Now we no longer live in the same side of this country. She popped in on me for a visit. She stayed just 1 hour and when my routine of conversation drifted to me and my broken record of woes, she decided that the troop of herself and 5 other visiting people she brought with her must leave now with her. So, clear across the country from one coast to here and only stay one hour. This is a visit from the efforts of 4 people getting on an airplane to fly thousands of miles; then six of them driving 3 more hours round trip from across my state. Maybe I could share some perspective from that other side.

    The medical community shares some of the health facts and we tend to hear what does not frighten us. The medical community never explains the healing difference from the temporary treatments they know and prescribed. The body may be designed for self care but sometimes the kick in the pants needs to be a change in thinking. Prescriptions do not cure and they compound conditions with negative side-effects.

    The repetitive nature of comfort and security are the keys to this needed change and the social norms do not explain how to shift well. Formal trust in pharmaceutical theory of medicine misses some of the nutritional factors that will assist you to promote her heart in wanting a change. To be honest most doctors do not know how for their own families.

    My sister is an executive with career and big social life. I am a stay at home handicapper. She need to avoid negative environments and stay up beat has her seeing less of me these days. The system is missing the tips steps and nutritional support tools to get this necessary job done. She has to want to get help. Adrenal fatigue is big for deep moodiness. Are her doctors testing? She needs to find out the many prescriptions and all the nasty ingredients and side-effects most prevalent and explore other ways to remove the toxins of wrong choices and sustain comfort in her day to see the hope you can inspire. Because her doctors and pharmacists are not getting everything across to her comprehension, she may get together with these professionals for a review and appointments from a section of the health fields; relearn to care.

    Diet foods high sweet content foods fried foods, not enough desire for laughter can pull the wrong way. There are categories within chronic illness called ‘unexplained’ weight gain. She needs to get this explained and support happy stable moods and level blood sugar through foods and supplements with much less daily spiking. The problem compounds onto itself and seems very daunting to the soul inside such a stubborn problem. All over malnutrition; Systemic Candida; low body temperatures under 98.4; food allergies; late night electronics too close to bed time; hormone imbalances of more than just insulin of; Cortisol, DHEA, thyroid, testosterone and many others will alter moods and squash any desire to seek positive change or believe one is possible. I am not a doctor just someone on the other side who has not lost my hope. Self esteem falls under this much stress. She feels like a failure; unable to feel happy longer than a moment or two.

    The doctors are slowly learning that the better basics can be re-taught, rethink and supplement with mood encouragers without negative side effects in the classic MD doctor suggested products. By knowing these options are available; maybe they can enhance the slow growth toward positive self images and return her confidence to keep loving.

    The doctors use Co-Q10; and GABA, a form of vitamin “B”, and 5-HTP, vitamin “B12” and many other nutritional supports. I know that I am made of these and essentials can lift moods by providing adequate contentment in brain chemistry while learning to make the winning changes and want to see them take place. Does she need formal therapy? These are under the Neuropathic theme. These different directions of information come from naturopathic care. Something the MDs in her circle of care may not realize she needs. Acupuncture, chiropractic care and massage can be part of the package to help pull the right way. Some of these physical therapies, or parts of these costs, are social security Medicare sponsored these days. It takes a friend to make a friend. Thanks for being her friend even if she does not notice often enough. It took my Doctor of Nutrition to get me this far! Maybe intervention of new resources for health and happiness information can lead to more laughter with your friend?

    3028 days ago
    We have to be careful with how we let the failure of others affect us. When we have finally (usually after many tries) found an answer that works, it feels like all we need to do is share it and others will finally see what we see. Alas, it doesn't work that way. They all have their own personal journeys. Go ahead and celebrate your success!! If your obese friends fall away, then that is what has to happen. If we could really change other people, no one would be overweight. But they are and some always will be. We don't have to be fat ourselves. We find new friends, new thinner lives, and the world continues to go around. Cassandra was cursed with knowledge of the future but that no one would believe her. It's an old story. Doesn't make it any easier, but there it is.
    3028 days ago
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