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TINATC26
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The Daily Journal, Blog #5

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Though I have not blogged in a very long time, I do continue to experiment with the daily journal. I do like the simplicity of it, and yet, I find that another way to keep it simple and be efficient is to use the quick tracker for my exercise, water and freggies, and to use the daily note on the SP nutrition page to keep track of my eating. There are a couple of limitations with this, first, I have to be near the computer to journal, but that is not USAULLY a problem. Second, I don't really have the place to expand on my goals, as I do when I keep the daily journal on paper. And third, and perhaps this is the most contradictory for the reason for keeping the paper daily journal: I can't "throw away" the daily journal when I am finished with it. And "throwing it away" is supposed to be part of the therapeutic value of the journal..keep track, look at what you've done, then throw it away and tomorrow is a fresh start.

I am really torn about this. Perhaps it's the "historian" in me that gives me pause throwing away these records. I hate to throw away something that at some point in the future might be a window to what was going on in my life at a particular point in time, to help me understand how I have developed a particular thought or habit, or why I was feeling something, or just as a contemporaneous record of my life at a particular point in time. Or, perhaps it's the part of me that has always been taught that to keep a record is to give myself a window into what I've done right and what I've done wrong in my never ending journey to lose the weight and get healthy. Perhaps this contradiction within myself is someting to be ezplored.. the need to turn the page and start fresh vs the tug of the past upon me, does that drag me down and backwards??

At first glance, I guess I'd say that being a historian has not furthered my journey to health. So perhaps it is time to change directions and become a "fresh start" person. It's funny, I was reading an article this morning in Fitness Magazine, one of my favorite magazines, which gave many tips on generating change in your life, how hard it is, how resistant we all are to it, how we simply aren't wired to accept change readily, or even to try to undertake it in our lives. Maybe the time for change is now for me, to really stop falling back on old my old, personal stereotypes, and try a new way..

I am always amazed at how when I first start a blog, I might have some rumbling of an idea about what I am going to write about, but I absolutely, positively, never seem to know where I am going to end up. And the journey continues....

Have a sparky day!!
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  • JKPONYGIRL
    I have to say that I love to look back on my journals and see how far I have come or to look back where something was working really well. I dont think I could throw mine away. and no, they never do take you where you think you are going, do they?
    3096 days ago
  • MUSICMOMOF2
    Tina - I truly believe that you will find the right way that will work for you. You have had some success, just at different times in different areas. You just need to figure that out. Have a great day!!
    3138 days ago
  • _RAMONA
    Great blog, Tina! It's an interesting moment when one bumps up against what one has always done (especially when it is good sound practice) having to acknowledge that, for whatever reason, it's just not working... and then to struggle into the change that may make all the difference.

    This is exactly where I'm at with this health journey... conventional medicine has let me down time and time again, and this steady decline in wellness despite all of my very best efforts has finally caught up with me, and now I'm struggling to embrace other avenues... and I'm terrified... of the fringe and the lesser known and lesser documented, that the unconventional may not work either, of making things worse (though how that is possible I really don't know), and a little of taking full responsibility... if I choose to act against 'medical' advice' I have no recourse should I be wrong... and I just can't afford any more mistakes.

    And I come to the conclusion that I can't afford to not leave room for the mystical and faith-driven in my life... I have to finally fully embrace my TRUST in God, andtrust in who I am created to be... I have to believe He has given me all I need to be the answer to my own challenges.

    Here's to stepping out in faith.

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    Ramona
    3138 days ago
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