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8 Month Sparkversary, and reflection on goals...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hello Spark Friends!

I realized I have been Sparking for about 8 months...part of me is really proud that I have stayed aware of healthful eating and activity for 8 months...part of me is discouraged. When I first began this adventure in June I wanted to get to 130 pounds. I thought that was reasonable for me at 50 years of age...it would be in the "normal" range by 6 pounds...so good. But once I reached that goal weight, rather quickly (2 months?), I wondered if maybe I was settling for 130, and maybe 125 would be a better goal...more in the middle of "normal weight". Since then, I have really struggled to stay within my calorie range, and my weight climbed to the mid 130's and then down, and back up...I also lost sight of healthy portions and habits at times.

I've been thinking about this a lot..and today I reset my goal ticker with a new month...again...I've been trying not to be as concerned with the number on the scale, and more concerned with my healthy eating habits. I know eating in a balanced way is so much healthier for me in so many ways. I've realized that I truly do eat to make myself feel good, but when I eat poor quality foods that feeling only lasts for a short while...and cravings increase and regret and disgust follow. I'm working on getting to the root of the "need" to eat, boredom, pain, loneliness, anxiety, depression?? I've been experimenting with replacing the food with something beneficial to me, and if truly a gnawing hunger pain, eating a balanced snack of healthy foods.

So, while my ticker says I want to get to 125...I may or may not really want to do that. What I REALLY want is balance. I want to respect my body by giving it exercise, but not abusing it by working out too hard. I want to feed my body good quality food, but not deprive myself of an occasional treat. I've had a good taste of this at times during the past 8 months, and I really LIKE that feeling!

I'll be honest, I've done some stupid eating in the past 8 months...shoot...the past 8 days!! I've reverted to bad ways of making myself feel good. I could get really down about this...trash talk myself...but all that does it give me permission to do more poor eating. Instead, I eat healthfully at the next meal, I read motivational articles, Spark a little more....pray for wisdom.

So, I'm learning, a lot! I never thought a goal to become healthier would take me where it has. I'm surprised how much I am learning about myself and I'm learning a lot from my Spark Friends...so many of you really inspire me and encourage me, what a blessing you are! I believe I am becoming more balanced, so I am reaching my goal, one day at a time.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You've got a good perspective on yourself, Sheri. That's what this journey is all about ~ learning what is best for you. Meeting so many good people along the way is such a bonus. Glad I've gotten to know you over these 8 months. You've given me much to think about as well. Thanks! I've had so many ups and downs since December that I too, am trying to figure out the reasons "why" and basis of my "need" to eat. One wonderful thing that Spark has given me is never giving up, no matter how often I fall off the wagon. That is truly a skill set I appreciate. Best to you this month!

    3160 days ago
    I admire your goals. emoticon
    3162 days ago
    Hi Sheri- I love this statement: "What I REALLY want is balance. I want to respect my body by giving it exercise, but not abusing it by working out too hard."

    I have noticed with my running last year and lots of fitness minutes that I did not really lost weight at all. So this year is my year of experimentation. I am also looking for that balance.

    You have learned, you move on. Just keep on keeping on. I believe you will get there ... the balance ... irrespecitive of the number on the scale. What do you believe?
    3164 days ago
  • GOATS03
    You're on the right track Sheri. Congratulations for all your accomplishments so far. Being aware of what makes you happy or sad is a big step in living a healthy lifestyle. It's not easy. My goal was 130 but my body kept loosing. My nutrionist told me last year that my body knows where it wants to be. I went down to 108 which was not where I wanted to be and have since put back on 10 lbs. but not all by healthy eating. I fall back and pick myself up again.

    Sheri, I think that we have the tools, the friends and the awareness..that's important. I don't believe that numbers are important either. And I think that it's only human that we'll have days where we're just over indulging in bad food BUT we're aware and get back on track..

    You are doing so good...your blog was great with the right plans and positive outlook. I'm so proud of you :)

    Hugs my friend
    3164 days ago
    Happy Spark Anniversary to you! What an awesome blog! You are so motivating to me. I feel honored to be your friend!
    3165 days ago
    Happy emoticon + emoticon + emoticon ! ^_~

    Learning how to live healthy is definitely so much more important than reaching a number that may not mean the same. Good for you for recognizing the need to health and balance!
    3165 days ago
    Wow....after reading this blog entry....I really wonder if we could be twins, sisters, or even a relative we didn't know existed! Your story sounds so much like my own. I, too, can't figure out why I'm eating sometimes and get so down on myself when I do. It's truly a vicious cyle that I'm trying hard to break. I also am praying for wisdom to continue my weight loss journey. Thanks for being my friend!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3165 days ago
    You are doing great Sheri and your thinking/blogging shows that you have learnt a lot and you are doing everything right. It's not easy trying to figure out a weight we want to be at, but if we learn how to lead a balanced life, I think we have accomplished a great deal. Have a great day!
    3165 days ago
    I think sparks teachs us alot and so do our sparks friends love ya lady keep sparking its good for us all
    3165 days ago
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