Monday, February 06, 2012
'You look back one more time then you let it go"
Oh if only it were so easy. It is not hard to let go of some things. When close friends apologise for yelling at you you can forgive them because they love you right?
so why is it so hard to forgive yourself for falling into that age old trap? AS you may have guessed recently I have been sinking into the sweets realm. I just couldn't get enough sweets and I ate a lot of them. Last week I felt like running every day. Didn't happen. (though to be fair that is because I walk to and from my university so by the time I spend at the least 60 mins walking and then get home its dark. I feel unsafe running in the dark especially in a city where people are drinking all the time.) One day I felt like sweets and was at the store with a friend. I bought this chocolate pudding thing. I ate 3/4ths of it before I went to bed. Then ate the last 1/4th for breakfast. My sleep schedule was terrible too. nothing like going to bed at 4 am for 3 days in a row to make you feel pointless. The hormones were going crazy mostly because I was coming off that special time. :)
But that is what life is about, the ups and downs. That is what defines us as people. How we can grow and change from the adversity and situations we encounter. I guess I need to take the first step and turn off the computer early then when I am reading shut off the light and go to bed. That should be my first step I guess.
Sometimes with all the little things not lining up it is hard to feel good about yourself. But isn't that the first step in any relationship? loving someone for who they are? why can't we each love ourselves for who we are despite all the flaws. That should be everyone's New Years' resolution. To love themselves not try to change every little thing. Yes the other things are important but won't they follow if you start by changing your attitude towards yourself? I don't know if this makes sense or if anyone will read it. lol. I only have a few spark friends but it always feels good to get things out and share them. well I guess I should finish reading my online stuff then turn off my computer and go to bed right? I need to try and hold myself accountable. Tomorrow was yesterday it's gone. let's try to look towards tomorrow.