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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Here are some TRUTH moments for you:

TRUTH: Sometimes my willpower completely escapes me. It is often weakened by TOM, by breaking my usual patterns, and by group situations.

This weekend I lost a lot of my willpower. We had an Oktoberfest Alumni happy hour at my college. I ate one and a half BIG salty soft pretzels and drank three beers. I had a caramel apple with peanuts on it. I saw a lot of old friends and had a great time. Our school does a big homecoming weekend with tons of activities. BF and I went to the Haunted Trail, which was actually quite scary for being a free college event. We came home to watch Paranormal Activity 1 (Ummm yes, this anxiety ridden girl finally watched it!) and I ate like half of a bag of Trader Joe’s Jalapeno Crunchies without noticing it. I have decided they are no longer allowed in my house unless I immediately break them into one serving size bags.

TRUTH: Sometimes you just have an off day/weekend/week/month…

Saturday was my (almost planned, how sad is that?) TOM down day. I tend to feel so awful when TOM starts that I spend the day in bed, and that is pretty much what I did on Saturday, just with a 711 latte, a pizza, and a few errands mixed in. BF and I rented XMen First Class to watch from home. He also bought himself a cheesesteak and wings, and I ended up eating most of the wings. Oh look! My fried food challenge is over and I lose complete control! What IS that?! I was so mad at myself it wasn’t funny, especially after being so lazy all day. TOM really messes with me and I think it is the one day a month where I just know I’ll lose my mind and be bad.

TRUTH: Small changes do start to add up, and sometimes it takes a really random moment to realize it!

Sunday we woke up and went for a long walk. No run for me, TOM sucks the life out of me, but I did push myself through the walk. I pulled out my winter clothes and tried everything on. The good news? Nothing fits! The bad news? NOTHING FITS! I have two pairs of work pants for this winter! I donated a TON of stuff to Goodwill. I feel like everything I bought last year was almost a waste, none of it fit now. I tried on my winter boots that I bought last year and never really wore because they didn’t zip up well. Now? They zip up all of the way and are a little LOOSE too!!!!!! I can’t remember the last time boots zipped up all of the way for me. Woo hoo!

TRUTH: Sometimes you make a bad decision, and it comes back to bite you!

On Sunday night, we ended up hosting our own Oktoberfest at home. I made schnitzel, strudel, potato pancakes, small pretzels with mustard, and beer. We listened to German music. Let’s make a long story short – I was up ALL night Sunday night feeling like I was dying. My stomach gave me the what-not for the food choices I made this weekend and I barely slept. It was BAD NEWS.

TRUTH: Some days, you just can’t work out.

Yesterday, I had to be in training by 8am. We had training directly through until 245pm, and then I had a Staff Meeting from 3-6. They fed us food all day and it wasn’t too bad – I had a banana, half of a bagel, half of an apple, a crab cake and asparagus. I also had a wicked headache and was completely dragging from the lack of sleep Sunday night. BF took me out to dinner – Outback – and I tried to eat well. I was just so tired. I came home and went to bed and missed the Ravens game, which apparently was a good decision because of how badly they played. Sigh. I missed my lunchtime walk and I felt so lazy after sitting in the same chair all day, but I really didn’t have a choice.

TRUTH: After working on good habits and breaking that pattern, sometimes you just can’t wait to get back in the swing of GOOD things.

Today I am revved up to be back in control again. I packed a healthy bag of food today, I plan on a nice walk at lunchtime, and BF and I have a run on the books for tonight. We’re having grilled cheeses and tomato soup for dinner and then I am visiting my old roomie to pick up some (hopefully) fitting clothes. I WANT to eat well today, I WANT to work out today, I WANT to see that number on the scale I have been chasing for so long.

TRUTH: I am only as strong as I believe I can be. I have to learn from my mistakes and move on. I have to try harder next time but understand that bad things can and will happen. I have to plan to plan. I have to WORK. I have to GO. I have to DO.

I’m pumped up!!!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yep, we can make bad choices, but we can also choose to get right back to the good ones!! I love when I want to get back to good ways :) Thanks for sharing!!
    3080 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5602455
    I think everyone can relate to your "truths" - sometimes it takes a weekend of crap eating to realize just how far we've come in our journey towards better health. YOu're doing a great job hon! Stick with it and you'll get back on track!!! Just keep struttin' around in your fabulous boots and that will keep you driven to stay on track!

    3080 days ago
  • RIVER331
    Good job being a great human! I love the way you know your truths, and you're right - sometimes it takes a bad day (or three) to get us to realize what we're missing!

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    3080 days ago
    Yep. Sometimes you just have "bad" days. I think you wouldn't be human if these things didn't happen once in a while. Take what good of it you can (memories of the interactions with friends/boyfriend) and just trash the rest. No need to dwell. You ARE doing this! No doubt about it. Go get it!

    Also, congrats on the clothes thing...both a blessing and a curse, lol!

    3080 days ago
    I like your up swing attitude at the end there. Yes, stuff a.k.a. LIFE happens. We learn from it and move on with a better understanding of ourselves. I wish you much energy and good health today! :)
    3080 days ago
    Into every life falls TOM, headaches, long days of meetings, Oktoberfests, etc. This is the long haul after all -- we just need to be willing to give up the "all or nothing" mentality and get back on track. Sounds like you've got that! Enjoy our day!
    3080 days ago
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