Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Here are some TRUTH moments for you:
TRUTH: Sometimes my willpower completely escapes me. It is often weakened by TOM, by breaking my usual patterns, and by group situations.
This weekend I lost a lot of my willpower. We had an Oktoberfest Alumni happy hour at my college. I ate one and a half BIG salty soft pretzels and drank three beers. I had a caramel apple with peanuts on it. I saw a lot of old friends and had a great time. Our school does a big homecoming weekend with tons of activities. BF and I went to the Haunted Trail, which was actually quite scary for being a free college event. We came home to watch Paranormal Activity 1 (Ummm yes, this anxiety ridden girl finally watched it!) and I ate like half of a bag of Trader Joe’s Jalapeno Crunchies without noticing it. I have decided they are no longer allowed in my house unless I immediately break them into one serving size bags.
TRUTH: Sometimes you just have an off day/weekend/week/month…
Saturday was my (almost planned, how sad is that?) TOM down day. I tend to feel so awful when TOM starts that I spend the day in bed, and that is pretty much what I did on Saturday, just with a 711 latte, a pizza, and a few errands mixed in. BF and I rented XMen First Class to watch from home. He also bought himself a cheesesteak and wings, and I ended up eating most of the wings. Oh look! My fried food challenge is over and I lose complete control! What IS that?! I was so mad at myself it wasn’t funny, especially after being so lazy all day. TOM really messes with me and I think it is the one day a month where I just know I’ll lose my mind and be bad.
TRUTH: Small changes do start to add up, and sometimes it takes a really random moment to realize it!
Sunday we woke up and went for a long walk. No run for me, TOM sucks the life out of me, but I did push myself through the walk. I pulled out my winter clothes and tried everything on. The good news? Nothing fits! The bad news? NOTHING FITS! I have two pairs of work pants for this winter! I donated a TON of stuff to Goodwill. I feel like everything I bought last year was almost a waste, none of it fit now. I tried on my winter boots that I bought last year and never really wore because they didn’t zip up well. Now? They zip up all of the way and are a little LOOSE too!!!!!! I can’t remember the last time boots zipped up all of the way for me. Woo hoo!
TRUTH: Sometimes you make a bad decision, and it comes back to bite you!
On Sunday night, we ended up hosting our own Oktoberfest at home. I made schnitzel, strudel, potato pancakes, small pretzels with mustard, and beer. We listened to German music. Let’s make a long story short – I was up ALL night Sunday night feeling like I was dying. My stomach gave me the what-not for the food choices I made this weekend and I barely slept. It was BAD NEWS.
TRUTH: Some days, you just can’t work out.
Yesterday, I had to be in training by 8am. We had training directly through until 245pm, and then I had a Staff Meeting from 3-6. They fed us food all day and it wasn’t too bad – I had a banana, half of a bagel, half of an apple, a crab cake and asparagus. I also had a wicked headache and was completely dragging from the lack of sleep Sunday night. BF took me out to dinner – Outback – and I tried to eat well. I was just so tired. I came home and went to bed and missed the Ravens game, which apparently was a good decision because of how badly they played. Sigh. I missed my lunchtime walk and I felt so lazy after sitting in the same chair all day, but I really didn’t have a choice.
TRUTH: After working on good habits and breaking that pattern, sometimes you just can’t wait to get back in the swing of GOOD things.
Today I am revved up to be back in control again. I packed a healthy bag of food today, I plan on a nice walk at lunchtime, and BF and I have a run on the books for tonight. We’re having grilled cheeses and tomato soup for dinner and then I am visiting my old roomie to pick up some (hopefully) fitting clothes. I WANT to eat well today, I WANT to work out today, I WANT to see that number on the scale I have been chasing for so long.
TRUTH: I am only as strong as I believe I can be. I have to learn from my mistakes and move on. I have to try harder next time but understand that bad things can and will happen. I have to plan to plan. I have to WORK. I have to GO. I have to DO.
I’m pumped up!!!!!!