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The Journey (Part 1)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Looks like I'm finally getting around to making an entry about losing weight. I'm going to have to split it between multiple entries over multiple days, I think.

A couple months ago I ordered a pair of shorts online. It was just an impulse buy, because they were having a ridiculously good sale. I ordered a size approximate to what I thought I would need. When they finally arrived, they were too small.

I wasn't too disappointed. I had been kind of kicking around the idea of losing weight in my head a bit. I tried to be positive and think, "I'll fit into them eventually."

I know it's good to have goals when you're losing weight, so that is one of my goals. I like this particular goal, because it isn't tied to the scale.

I've tried to lose weight once before. Last year I lost about 20 pounds. Although somewhat successful, it was a very uneducated, haphazard attempt - I was winging it. I was overexercising and undereating. I was still losing weight, but it just wasn't mentally maintainable for me. When the holidays came, I buckled. I had completely burnt myself out and fell off track. Afterward, I gained all the weight back - probably even an extra 5 pounds.

I likely would've made the same mistake this time around too. I feel like I would've. But then I found this website, and wow.

The direction this site gives is incredibly helpful. People even talk to me and encourage me.

The first couple weeks were still rocky. I assumed they would be. I had headaches, because I was having caffeine withdrawals and not eating as much. I wanted to eat horrible food so badly. It's all I could think about. Unhealthy food really is addicting - no joke. It's so hard to resist when you're emotionally tied in. It's like that movie Supersize Me. The guy is depressed until he gets to eat McDonald's - then he's in heaven. He had developed addiction.

Once I got through a week of going to the gym and not eating terribly, I started to get better. You start to feel good about yourself when you get on streaks like that. I still would tempt myself sometimes. It's incredible how powerful the mind can be. I think it's partially luck that I was able to continue to resist.

At this point, surprisingly, I can control my temptations quite well. There's a certain point you cross where the temptations die down considerably. Even today at my grandparents' I was faced with a kitchen full of take-out American-Chinese food. I would've used to binge on that stuff hard. Today, I had some, but I measured a cup of shrimp fried rice and got a glass of water. It's almost bizarre how my behavior has changed in that respect.

And speaking of water, it's almost all I drink now. I used to go for soda or a big glass of sugar tea when I would eat something. I felt I needed it. But I go for iced water now like I used to go for those things. I don't even think about it - it's just the new habit. A healthier habit. One day it's just instilled in you.

I feel like things are going well right now. I wish the process went faster, because I'm still insecure about how I look, and I still get depressed over it, but I'm actually making progress. I've lost somewhere between 10-15 lbs so far. Once I hit the point I made it to last year, I will have proven to myself that I can do it without burning myself out and without being miserable. And then hopefully I will go far beyond that point.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD11083148
    Thanks for tuning me into this blog Jake! Now we can support each other virtually and in reality! :) You're doing fabulously my friend, we just have to quit eating at Steak N Shake and Sergeant Pepper's...and Cold Stone Creamery...now we can hold each other accountable. Keep it up buddy. I love you!
    3240 days ago
  • KRISSY_ANNE
    I'm glad you are stickin to doing it the healthy way! I, like you and many many others, tried numerous ways - crash diets, fad exercise prgorams- only to loose weight, burn out and gain every pound and then some back.

    From reading your blog, I think you are making amazing progress. I love this website, because sometimes in our circle of friends, and sadly even our families (not sure if its the same for you, but it definitely is for me) the support just isn't there. On Sparkpeople, I find everyone is so friggin friendly, and so supportive because we are all on the same journey to a better lifestyle, or have been in our current shoes (or should I say pant size?! lol jk)

    I agree that the first few weeks suck, I am on my 3 or 4th week (cant really remember) and I still tumble off the wagon every now and again. I think the easiest thing for me so far has been the water. I used to drink 4 or more Pepsi's a day (i feel so bleh saying, or rather typing, that out loud) but if we aren't honest with ourselves and others, I feel it will only hinder our progress.

    Like MJUSTICEROB said in her comment, THANK GOD this gets easier and easier, I think that is one of the things that keeps me going so strong, is knowing that this WILL become just a normal part of life and not the struggle it seems to be.

    Things may seem like they are going slow, but that's ok. Yes it sucks, but at the same time, slow progess is better than no progress right? I too get depressed about my weight and appearance. I started this weighing in at 236.7 pounds. I was (and still am) the fatter friend, the fatter fiance, the fatter sister. I currently weigh in at 225.something. A 10lb weight loss. But you know what, in a few months, or a year, we can look back at our journey and tell ourselves and everyone else "I DID IT" through hard work and perserverance.

    Keep up the Good work! And when things start getting real hard to maintain, hop on here and get that motivation back.

    Have a great day and an even better week! emoticon
    3259 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10201374
    I'm very happy you decided to do this the healthy way. I am with you 100% on that. I've lost 15lbs before doing it the unhealthy way, only to gain it all back and more. I can honestly say I never pictured myself as someone who could lose 10, 15, or 20lbs the right way. Its an amazing feeling and I am excited that we will be able to share in that.

    Its a good thing that it gets easier with time, otherwise, I can't imagine anyone could be successful for long. In terms of the new us, I can't wait to see how different we'll be in another 3 months, 6 months, a year.

    I know how you feel. I really wish progress would move faster. Halloween is my favorite holiday and I really wish I would be back down to my previous weight (144lbs) by then, but that would mean over 20lb weight loss to get there in time and I don't think thats realistic for me. I decided to just use that disappointment as a reminder of how important it is I keep doing this so next Halloween I will feel great.

    I think the shorts is a great goal. It'll feel amazing when fit! I hope we get to see a picture when that happens. Its funny you mentioned it though, because today I was reminded of something I really want to wear. My best friend sent me a picture of herself wearing a shirt I bought her for x-mas and it reminded me of a shirt she bought me for my b-day that I have never gotten to wear because it was too small. She doesn't know about that, but I thought to myself "One day I will send her a picture of me wearing that shirt." I am excited for that day!

    Thanks so much for the support on here

    emoticon
    3259 days ago
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