THE OLD WOMAN AND THE PORTRAIT

An old woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "I want you to paint me with a diamond necklace and earrings, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

"But you're not wearing any of those things," the artist replied.

"I know, she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. I just know he'll marry one of his little girlfriends right away, and I want her to go crazy looking for the jewelry."