No more "convenient" friend
Thursday, August 11, 2011
You're always there for them... they come to you when they need you. When they need a laugh, support, a shoulder to cry on... then something happens and you need someone to talk to, someone to turn to, to listen, comfort you or put a smile on your face. Sadly, the person you've invested quite a bit of time in is busy or not interested, or gives you a pat on the back, a "suck it up".... or a simple "it will be ok".
You need to someone to just listen, but suddenly they have all these problems and stresses to tell YOU about, because their life is harder than yours or their problems are more pressing than yours.
I have had WAY to many convenient friendships. When you're my friend... you become my family. I will do anything for family.
I've cut some people off because I just can't handle it, BUT the minute they have some crisis and come to me, I immediately go back to how I was before. I do whatever I can to help in whatever way I can. Afterwards, I will think to myself "I was there... this will be the time they remember and when I need them... they'll be someone I can go to."
Next thing I know... I'm stressed out, something horrible happened, OR I'm SUPER excited about something! About a great run... about a goal I reached(or passed), the scale, some sort of success that I just want to tell someone ALLLLLLLL about!
"good job. that's great."
Ohhhh yes.... I can just FEEL the enthusiasm!
I then come crashing down to the thoughts "Maybe it's NOT that big a deal if this person or that person doesn't seem to be too excited for me."
Oh, but then there are those SELECT few who ALWAYS get excited for me, then I wonder why on earth I even call the "other" person my "friend"?
They DO get excited for me at some point and the circle starts all over again- "they've changed, they've changed!!!"
Sad stuff eh?
I have been a convenient friend for so long, it's a habit hard to break I guess.
I just hope I'm never like that to someone else. I just feel like it's taking advantage of someone... and I HATE that.
Some people could read this(since it's a public blog) and wonder if I'm talking about them... I'm not talking about any one individual... but I do have several people in mind.
I guess if you think I'm talking to you, you've come to realize how our friendship works... question is, do you want to change it?
People step in and out of my life pretty often. I recently reconnected with someone and we were both SO excited about it. I heard a lot about their problems and supported them, encouraged them. Now I've been trying to get in touch with them, and I get nothing.
Sure makes you feel special.
I need to find a way to fix this... but I'm not sure it's fixable. It's my personality and morals versus theirs.
Don't torture yourself by being a convenient friend.... and don't torture others by treating them like a conventient friend.
I'll end my little rant there ;)
Much love peeps
Rock it out!