Ok so this blog is going to be about a lot of different things, because it has been a crazy couple weeks.
First, my BFF and I finished the bible study called Discerning the Voice of God. If you get a chance to do that one it was wonderful. I have to admit that I was a bit closed eared about allowing the spirit to talk to me. i.e. I just wasn't going to listen. On the last day of class I realized that all my junk wrapped into one boils down to 2 little words. CONTROL FREAK.
In my world CONTROL FREAK encompasses all these things ... alcoholism, drug addiction, weight issues, self esteem, vulnerability, and most of all NOT WANTING TO FEEL. So to CONTROL my feelings I would eat, flirt, drink, drug, whatever it was to kill the feeling. But guess what. That FEELING I was trying to kill is the Holy Spirit pricking at my heart. Gently (or not so gently) getting me to understand that I am NOT in control.
I am not an addict ... I am God's child
I am not vulneralbe... I am God's child
I am not homely... I am God's marvelous creation
So all that being said, life didn't get easier. But becasue my God has taken my control of others (my oldest daughter) and given me coping skills I am really ok.
I am taking care of me physically - working out
Taking care of me emotionally - reading Hurt Healer by Tony Nolan
Taking care of my addictions - Praise be to God
My oldest got Married on Friday, but not before she totaled her car with my Grandbaby LeeLee in it. Spent a long holiday weekend in the hospital with my little puddin(s) but you know what. God is good, they are as good as they can be with their broken bones and other pains. They are alive to do HIS good work.
The happy Couple and not so happy baby with her broken leg.