I keep trying to be back on here regularly like a was before. I have not given up. Last October my life had many changes within a short period of time. I know my Spark friends have been wondering what is going on with me, so here is a brief update. Things have been out of the usual crazy, so this is just a basic outline.
I'm still here, but on an extremely limited basis. Last October, my elderly mother moved to town with high expectations of all I would do for her. She needs a lot of care and also wanted me to take over all her responsibilities - paying bills etc, etc, etc. She also had a fantasy of me being with her 24/7 and going to restaurants ( which is very difficult, because she needs so much help) This whole thing has been very strange and a horrible trial. I have not been close to my mother and have spent decades healing from hurts and here the Lord allowed this. We had only seen each other a very few times in the last 3 decades. As a Christian, I had forgiven the past, but I certainly didn't want to deal with any of it again. I have been trying to move in obedience to the Lord's will, but it's been extremely difficult and exhausting. She has not treated my husband and I very well, but she doesn't seem to understand this at all. We are both completely worn out with the effort. She decided to move into an assisted living facility, because she was unsatisfied with our efforts. Now she is unsatisfied with the facility. We get multiple calls a day with requests and complaints. I get called in to the administrator's office with complaints about my mother's behavior. It's been a nightmare. I love my mother through it all. I want her last years to be happy and peaceful. I've tried, but I can't control her behavior.
On top of this major life change, I also started a new job in October and had a grandson born. Also, I've had health problems again and been hospitalized. My husband, also, and he just had surgery. I know God MUST be doing something! I'm being molded by the Lord, I'm sure of it.
I realize the best thing for me to do is to rest in the Lord. Bask in His presence, read His Word and pray. I need to praise Him through it all and keep my joy and peace. These things are a choice, not something to feel like doing. James 1:2-3 says, " Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience." This is an appropriate scripture for where I am right now.
I miss being on SP a lot. I'm trying to get rid of my all or nothing attitude and just be on as much as possible.
I love and miss you. I'm still here as able.