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THE UGLY TRUTH

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Well, I've had to face the truth recently. I should have known not to let my body go to pot - & especially, being a Registered Nurse, I should know what happens when we get FAT! And I'm not saying this to put myself - or anyone else - down, it's just plain fact, in my case.

A lot of you know that I've been dealing with several health issues lately. I had my right knee replaced 8 years ago, & the Ortho thinks it's going bad - so it might need to be re-done. Why? Because I let myself go. I had lost a bunch of weight just before & after I had that knee done, but stress got to me, & I've been seesawing a lot in the past 4 years or so - but I had put all the weight back on that I had lost, plus another 15 lbs., before I started seesawing.

When I had the right knee done, the doc said the left one would need to be replaced "soon." Well, I think 8 years is great for that - but if I hadn't let my weight go, I'd probably get several more years out of it. However, it's now in a condition that I need the surgery now! My doc, though, wants me to lose weight first - which I agree with. He ordered a knee brace for me, & it helps some, but not enough - I still have a lot of knee pain, & I can't do a lot for exercise.

In the meantime, I discovered what I knew, as a nurse, was a hernia that's at the end of the
l-o-n-g incision from when I had my gallbladder removed in 1989. Why did it decide to pop out now? Because I've let my weight get out of control! When I went to the GI doc, he said he thought I had another hernia, lower in my abdomen - he thought it was at the incision from colon surgery I had about 5 years ago. YUCH! Another hernia? Just what I needed - yeah, right!

So I had a CT scan of my abdomen & pelvis a couple of weeks ago. I went back to the surgeon last week, & he said he thought I should lose the weight first - that losing it should resolve both hernias, because he thinks they both have some fat in them. I really think that he was being kind, because I got his secretary to make a copy of the radiologist's report on the scans.

I read the report - didn't like what I saw, & put it down. But I had to go back & look at it again - & again. Here's where it really gets ugly. Not only do both hernias contain fat (that's why I think the doc was being kind, it says so right in the report!), but I have "fatty infiltration" in my liver & in my pancreas. What does that mean? I have FAT in both of those organs, & no fat belongs there! I also have "atherosclerotic changes in the aorta and common iliac arteries." Meaning: I have plaque in the main artery coming from the heart, & the ones going down to the pelvis & lower extremities. The word for this plaque is atherosclerosis - you may have heard of that. It comes from a diet high in cholesterol. Unfortunately, I've already reduced my cholesterol intake, & my most recent labs showed that my levels were normal - & I've been taking a medication to keep it low. That means: back to the drawing board for this particular problem, in addition to the obvious -

Getting back on track with my food intake!!!!! I have to cut out more of the things I love, & start tracking my food intake again. I was doing it a while back, & if I didn't lose, I at least maintained - but lately my weight has climbed again. I'm not back at my all time high, but I won't be long reaching that if I don't start doing what I know I should be doing - and NOW!

So: my goals for the rest of this month (& forward, from now on, but I'll add more goals next month) are:

1. Continue drinking 8 glasses of water daily - this is one thing I almost always do, no matter what, though for the last couple of weeks, I haven't been as good at it.

2. Start tracking my food again - everything!

3. Find a substitute for butter as a flavoring. I use a lot of herbs & spices, but I still love butter on rice, potatoes, & a lot of cooked veggies. Maybe I should just eat my veggies raw, but then I want dip for a lot of them - using a low cal, low fat salad dressing is good, & I do that quite often - will have to do it MORE often!

4. Weigh in weekly.

5. Find an accountability partner - or several! There are several on the Christian Women Dealing w/ Chronic Illness & Pain Team who want to have some accountability, so I'm going to have to come up with a place to put that on our Team Page for all of us to use.

I'm not going to add exercise yet, because I'm having problems with my mobility - I'll ease into that in May, hopefully. Besides - I'm having to move this month (might have until the end of May, but not sure), so that's going to keep me pretty busy. Also, I'm looking at surgery for a rotator cuff tear in my left shoulder - which will probably be scheduled once I get my move done. So I know that's going to slow me down a little more, just because I've let myself go & I'm no spring chicken, so surgery can be more difficult to recuperate from. I plan to allow my body what it needs to heal, while continuing with my weight loss goals.

One thing that may help: Since I'll only be able to use one hand/arm after the surgery, my insurance will probably pay for meals to be delivered to me for 2-3 weeks. I'll request a 1200 calorie diet plan if so - that way, I'll be forced to follow it for that amount of time, & maybe I'll be able to continue that once I start cooking again. Right now, I allow myself up to 1400 calories. But that's to get me back into the swing of things without feeling like I'm starving myself - & eating everything in sight as a result!

I know this has been a long blog, but it's taken me a while to write it - I didn't want to, but I knew I HAD to! Thanks for reading this, if you've come this far - & please pray for me, that I can do what I know I have to do. God bless you all, my Spark brothers & sisters!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IMAVISION
    I have just read your sharing & have committed myself to praying for you as you take each new step on the path to dropping the pounds you need to & see to improving the health situations you shared here.

    God bless you, Kerolyn!

    Ima
    2902 days ago
  • NEWBEGINNINGSX2
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I know its a common scripture that you already know but it's worth repeating. YOU can lose the weight and get yourself healthy again. Know that and claim that. Don't let Satan tell you anything different. Just rebuke his thoughts when they come. I pray you have much victory in your life over all of this. Blessings on you. :o)
    3201 days ago
  • PEPPERLEAH
    Kerolyn, this is a great blog. I admire your honesty, and you know, facing facts isn't always easy. I think so many times we allow ourselves to "convince" ourselves that what we are doing is ok, when in reality, we know it isn't the best for us.

    BUT...you will get the weight off. And in the meantime, I am praying for you, for all of your concerns.

    emoticon
    3335 days ago
  • FLMOMX2
    Dear Kerolyn: I'll be praying for you during this time. This puts me and probably others on notice to stick with the plan we've learned here on SP. Like you, I've seesawed on the eating this last year. I'll be working on this with you, so I'll check on you to see if you are sticking to your program.
    Vicky emoticon
    3336 days ago
  • YELLOWBIRD01
    Thank you for sharing!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!! You will do fine, you have the Lord on your side!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3336 days ago
  • WINNIE-POOH
    Thanks for sharing from the heart. You did it before, you can do it again with Gods help. I pray that you will have a successful journey as you encourage and be kind to yourself.
    I have been seesawing or yo-yo-ing this diet stuff as far as I can remember. Each time, I learn something new - actually try something new. Tracking is what helps me most because I don't want to see the high calories on my tracker. But then I run into other problems because I won't eat. emoticon That is as bad as over eating because my body knows all the tricks.
    Reading your blog gives me another punch to stay focused - at least for today. God gives us one day at a time. If I mess up today, I will try to do better tomorrow. Knowing I need to get on track and not give up is a plus for me.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3336 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/6/2011 10:29:45 AM
  • CAKAROO
    Pray for GOD's guidance and grace in your health Journey
    3336 days ago
  • MOMMA_BEAR_69
    I have added you to my prayer list and will be saying a prayer for you daily!!!
    Blessings and hugs,
    Helen
    3336 days ago
  • ALICIAT32
    good luck on your journey
    3336 days ago
  • GOING-STRONG
    I sprinkle a little parmessan or mozarella on my steamed veggies and it really helps... good luck to you and don't give up. Just take it one day at a time. Hugs, Rhonda
    3336 days ago
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