Okay, I am seriously considering seeing a doctor about this hip situation. I need to know if I should just stop trying to run altogether or if there is something I can do to correct my problems. I ran again today. First interval felt great. I ran at 5.0 for 1/10th of a mile and it felt awesome. I waited a LONG time, walking at a regular pace, before I tried to run again. The first .08 miles of the second interval were fine, but those last .02 put me into a tailspin of regret, concern and just plain anger. Seriously, I'm angry. I'm a runner at heart who is physically unable to run, and it's killing me mentally. Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I'm honestly considering calling the doc for a consultation on the matter.
Second of all, I signed up yesterday for the Get Lucky 7k in Minnesota, which I will walk while RAVENSONG and MEZZOANGEL run their hearts out ahead of me. Yes, I'm sure you can hear the disappointment in my voice, but I'm trying to get over it. I never thought I'd still be in the same place after a year. I've come so far physically, lost a lot of weight and inches, am stronger than I've ever been, can walk much faster than I could when I started, but running just isn't in the cards for me. It's what's been holding me back from signing up for any races thus far, but for some reason I woke up yesterday and told myself I had to do another race, even if I walked every step, I had to do it.
The problem right now is figuring out how to get there without killing my bank account. I have a lot of research to do on rental cars and airfare, but I have a feeling I'm going to be mad at myself for a long time for spending money when I *should* be saving it for the wedding in July. I'll figure it out, but right now I'm stressing major over it.
Third, I spent most of the morning FINALLY putting up my non-Spark blog.
I don't know why, but I think I need to share my story with non-Sparkers too. It's not a complete page yet, and only has one post, but I hope it will help me focus my ramblings here into more concrete posts on this wacky, crazy year I'm giving myself. This is my own version of Eat, Pray, Love - just without the Italians and Indians and such. I want to see if I can accomplish something similar right here at home (or, at least, in the continental U.S.).
Finally, it's likely needless to say, but my workout today was disappointing. In addition to the hip issues, I also had to opt out of one of my ST workouts because I just couldn't do it, couldn't even attempt it -- pull ups. HA! No. Not happening. I'm smarter than that. I have enough problems right now without knocking myself out by literally crashing on the floor when I fail and pulling every muscle in my upper body while I'm at it.
This week has been crazy. TONS of work for me to do, mixed in with nearly day-long training. Plus, I've had to step in and help out since one of our longtime employees up and retired without giving us any notice and then left days later, likely never to return. *sigh* Now I'm home for four days, both of my sons have the flu (Ethan's on the last day, I think, while Logan just started), and even though the weather is nice I'm feeling stressed and down and just want to sleep with an icepack on my hip (or a bag of frozen corn, which is what's on it right now).
Feeling very blah. Still sticking to workouts and nutrition goals anyhow, but I'm not having an UP day...let's just put it that way. Maybe tomorrow will be better. *shrug*