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I'm sorry. Not a happy one.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I am sorry because this is NOT going to be a pick me up, optomistic blog. I am crabby, I am in so much pain I cried home, and I cant get my eating under control. So I am frustrated.

Weighed in this morning and I GAINED 4.5 POUNDS! WHAT THE F@#$!!! Why the HELL do I do this TO MYSELF!?!?! I tried to 'indulge' like my leader suggested we do with the points allowance we are given each week and I FAILED. Why the heck do I forget that I AM THE LiLo of food?!? She cant be around crack and alcohol, and I cant be around trigger foods..It sets me OFF and my body cant handle it either and I gain like a mad woman. UGGGGGH! So back to square one with weight. GRRRRRRRRRR.

Next up, the knee. I went BACK to my uncle again tonight (per his request). This morning I woke up to throbbing knee pain again, and was limping all morning. Went to his office after work, he said its majorly swollen (not a good sign - boo). He did the laser again, adjusted my hip (also swollen) and low back. Then, he gave me arnica cream (on top of the 10 drops I take 3 times a day in water and YES, HE (the chiro) told me how to take it) so hopefully that will help. He also said tonight to sleep with it propped up on a pillow again, and to ice my low back/hip area, the back of my knee as well as on top of my knee. YIKES! And, to hit the swimming pool! So, swimming will be the adventure starting tomorrow.

I am seriously scared I wont be able to do this marathon now. I havent been told yet that I CANT do it, so I am still beyond praying and keeping my fingers crossed. PLEASE do the same! I would be so devastated if I couldnt run. You all know I would be crushed.

Thats all right now. I am in a dark place, and I need to get out of it. I pray pray pray pray that when I wake up tomorrow morning I wont have to limp around.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • AMARILYNH
    I'm so sorry about the knee - I hope your uncle will be able to help you get it fixed by the 6th. I know exactly how you feel - I used to run marathons (my last was in 1993 - I'm 63 years old now and my knees don't allow running but I still walk a ton) and have a CLEAR memory of the one I missed in 1994 due to a broken wrist (skiing accident) that made it too painful to run. Its truly the pits - you train all that time then bam! So I'm PRAYING your knee will heal quickly - you have youth in your favor and your uncle in your corner!!
    3357 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4333471
    This is exactly how I feel about my weight loss! You can do it, though! It's almost like alcoholics anonymous: Just take it one day (or meal) at a time.

    Good luck!
    3357 days ago
  • APMAC_D
    I sincerely hope your outlook begins to brighten. It's no good to be in a funk- it won't help the healing process :( I am keeping you in my thoughts- I would love to see you do the marathon if it is healthy to do so.
    3357 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5710470
    Not going to lie, that all totally s****.

    Maybe a little rage at yourself about the LiLo that lives inside you will help you get back to where you were before your indulgences.
    3357 days ago
  • LYNNANN43
    So sorry about your knee!

    Listen to your body! If you can't run, you can't run. Walk it only if you can do it safely.

    Injuries are a part of every runner's story. It's how you deal with them, that shows so much about you. (And will add to your running tales!)

    Be safe! emoticon
    3357 days ago
  • LIGHTNINGRUNNER
    Don't you dare worry about not writing and upbeat blog - you are required - you are ONLY required to write about you are feeling and thinking.

    I am so sorry all the pain you are going through - I will be sending you positive healing vibes. I know how much you want to do this marathon - but remember there are always other marathons - you only have 1 body and that is so much more important.

    I know what you mean - I am on an eating binge lately. I do great breakfast and lunch - but when I hit the house it is a free for all...It doesn't what or how much I eat - I am not satisfied. I need to be more diligent in logging all my food before I put it in my mouth. WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER. I am here for you.
    3357 days ago
  • PAGONA
    I so sorry your in pain, maybe taking a few days to rest your body. you only have a week before you run your race so, think positivite and don't worry about your weight this week. you have a huge race and your body knows it.

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
    3358 days ago
  • POINTAFTER
    I always recommend swimming. It's a great workout with no stress on the joints. Some people say it's relaxing. Not me...I don't swim well enough to relax emoticon

    Don't give up yet. Besides, there will be other marathons. It's a journey where you can adjust the timetable.
    3358 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/26/2011 11:48:17 PM
  • JMCADE
    Putting you on the prayer list. Hope that things are better for you in the morning. Keep your chin up.
    3358 days ago
  • KTMAE2006
    I am so sorry dear!! There can be other Marathons, the most important thing is keeping your knee!!! (not that it is seriously going to fall off, but still!) And I also am having eating issues. I think the important thing is that we know we're doing it. Do what you can dear, journal, go to the craft store and make a bracelet, brush your teeth, chew gum. Keep busy! Distract yourself from the food. It will be okay!!
    3358 days ago
  • CYNTHIAMINUS40
    I'm adding you to my prayer list! Pronto!

    emoticon emoticon
    3358 days ago
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