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Day 376: Banging the Cabinet Doors

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Friday, January 07, 2011

I totally love stay-cations. I spent the last ten days of the year getting to know my house again and recuperating from the end-of-the-year drama [by that, I mean having to engage with people who fundamentally annoy me.]

I have come up with the following peacemaking statement, "Thank you for sharing [you complete idiot – use inner voice here]. Have a great day [far away from me – use inner voice again.]" Smile. Exit. Shake my booty. Next.

Hm... needs work - I know. I am still calling this conflict resolution.

The interpersonal drama with “friends” the last few months was torturous but really helped me “get it.” [I should thank them. Not.] But here it is in a nutshell.

People cannot give me the love my mommy never did.

Settling for men who are not worthy of me cannot fill the void of an absentee father.

Love starts with me. Peace starts with me.

This means seek peace so I can have peace - not lose my power in situations.

Just don’t let situations have power over me.

[Sigh. This is gonna take all year...]

Anyway, I feel great now - so back to stay-cations.

I noticed my cats needed a lifestyle change while I was in home-heaven.

They suck in food like a vacuum so I tried to ration their intake [2 measured feedings a day. Simple? No.]

They quickly planned retaliation by banging the kitchen cabinet doors for three nights until I gave in. [I know. Right? Pure evil genius.]

Now, any time their bowl is half empty [not empty] – they meow like complete lunatics. And I fill the bowl - like a good butler.

Conflict resolved… They get what they want. I get peace [even though I’m keeping Purina in business – a small concession.]

Anyway, I thought I would try to make goals for the first [maybe second] time in the 12 months since I've been here.

I tried for about an hour - and then I got bored and resumed watching General Hospital [a whole channel just for soap operas. Who knew?]

I have the attention span of a gnat.

And I like the freedom to change things when I feel like it.

So right now, I am doing strength training [Monday, Wednesday and Friday] for 1 hour and cardio for 1 hour [on Tuesday, Thursday, maybe Saturday - and so far I am rocking it!] And I am even eating better than ever – like less processed stuff [12 months later... but still cool. Huh?]

I am convinced one of the reasons I am still here - on day 376 - is that I gave myself permission to find what is right for me [so I can be happy.]

I was talking to a friend at work about gym memberships. Out of nowhere, he asked me [as if it was a test] - do I walk up the stairs instead of using the elevator? It really is funny how many people have asked me this. [Get a hobby – really.]

I said: "Nope." He continued by chiding me for not wanting to bound up the stairs as if using elevators were a contradiction to being healthy.

Just for the record, I have an affinity for lots of modern amenities. I use a washer instead of beating my clothes against a rock. I am sure that's cardio too - and still I decline because a) I say so, b) I don't want to and c) it's cold outside.

So I said, "Not only that. I don't work my core. I know I have one but I chose not to associate with it. I do most cardio at a slow to moderate speed. And I don't like inclines or hills or going fast - because I am trying to watch Judge Judy." Of course, he laughed. [People always think I'm kidding. I am not.]

“When is the last time you worked out?” I asked. “Can’t remember,” he said. [Bored now. Time for lunch...]

My point is I am more apt to do things I enjoy. [It’s a nifty trick – called fun.] And I am more apt to be successful and happy if what I am doing aligns with

Who I am.

This journey is about making me happy. Not other people.

And I am not interested in any plan that does not fulfill me or is not inspired by me or that I didn't figure out for myself ['cause it is my life.]

And I don't want to start being who I am after I reach my goal. I am a person right now.

Granted, it does take time to figure this stuff out [I mean I just had the epiphany that I can find ways to really enjoy vegetables - even if Denzel Washington is not feeding them to me in the buff...]

But getting my life back seems like a fair trade to me.

And so 376 days, 20,675 fitness minutes and 55 pounds later

I am still here.

Banging cabinet doors.

Making some noise in my own life.

Declaring what I want, what I need

And fighting the darkness because that is what it takes.

Daring to be me.

Because I say so.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You DON'T beat your clothes on a rock? emoticon

    I need a new term cuz LOL is too common! You crack me up!!

    The part that gets me.... mr-so-much-advice is not even working out himself!
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    Go figure!
    3250 days ago
    3261 days ago
    I have to words for you! Well Done! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3262 days ago
    I have to admit that I am going backward reading your blogs, but it seems to be working for me. Especially the part about not being interested in any plan that does not fulfill me, is not inspired by me, or that I didn't figure out for myself.

    That has been a problem in the past....I start working on this on my own, find much success (about 50-70 lbs. lost), then others, suddenly, know exactly what I need to lose the weight and get healthy...the best way (like where were you when I needed the support when I was starting out...hmmm).

    Thanks so much for sharing with us...You are emoticon .

    3268 days ago
  • PHAHN28
    emoticon Blog!!
    3277 days ago
  • PHAHN28
    emoticon Blog!!
    3277 days ago
  • PHAHN28
    emoticon Blog!!
    3277 days ago
    LOVED the washing machine analogy!!! LOL, hilarious!
    3282 days ago
    Just catching up on your blogs since my vacation. You are (as always) my hero and inspiration. And I love what you say about the whole exercise thing. It is definitely about what makes us happy - and that is what will keep us going in the long run. Take care and happy you had a good staycation.
    3284 days ago
  • CATTI53
    It is about making yourself "happy" like only you know how to do! But, I must add, Denzel, in the buff, feeding me anything, well..... I would be smiling for a very long, long time! emoticon
    3285 days ago
    I totally love (and identify with) your blogs. You're an utter gem, and Denzel Washington should be banging on your door to feed you veggies in the nude. He would totally love the opportunity, I know it.

    3286 days ago
  • LUCKY-13
    I'm just now catching up on some much needed reading - and this made my day! I can now save some time by not having to search for something entertaining or an article that reminds me that I need to take charge of my own life and stop being a people pleaser. Words don't do justice to what this article helped me through!

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    3287 days ago
    OMG.....whenever I have a down day, I come over here and read your blogs!! LMAO They are so delightful and I ALWAYS get a belly laugh or two along the way, I hope you never stop writing!!! Keep the lessons coming, we can ALL use 'em!
    3287 days ago
    You are here because we need you!

    I hate the holidays and family interactions so much I bring my own food to functions and don't eat the way they trained me to eat. Ya, my mother got so pissed she started to shake the potato masher at me and said she was disappointed I didn't eat her meal (she was pissed that I didn't eat that extra 5000 calories so she could tell everyone how fat everyone in the family is but her). I told her it's my body and I choose not to put her crap food in it. No wonder my father had 5 by-passes.

    Good for you. The cat's, get plastic bowls they don't bang as loud. If they won't eat less make them exercise......find some electronic mice for them to chase.
    3288 days ago
  • SHORTY470374
    awww i loved this blog!!!
    3288 days ago
    OMG I am about to read all your blogs and subscribe. You are truly a gifted writer and woman.
    3288 days ago
    Very inspiring, I read your food critic blog and then kept reading your other blogs. Thanks for sharing and for daring!
    3288 days ago
    Keep bangin'... Being with you on your journey to yourself sure helps me on mine... When you write publish a book, which I feel you must do, then I will be your biggest fan! Til then, please keep the blogs comin', daring, amazing emoticon

    3288 days ago
    May I borrow Denzel for just one spoon fed meal? As you describe him, too.
    3290 days ago
    emoticon And don't let anyone tell you it's not!
    3290 days ago
    What a great post. I really enjoyed it.
    3290 days ago
    You are an incredible inspiration.

    (If you ever figure out how to not become your kitty's butler, you will be not only an inspiration but a miracle worker, and you should let me know the trick!)

    3291 days ago
    Terrific Blog........sounds like you are becomming -or have become- the women you were meant to be !!
    3291 days ago
    Thanks for sharing, this was really quite a piece of work you've created along with great advice.

    You are incredibly funny, and I love your cats in wigs.

    Dare to be myself....that I will do, on my way, thanks to people like you
    3291 days ago
    "I am convinced one of the reasons I am still here - on day 376 - is that I gave myself permission to find what is right for me [so I can be happy.]" - I love this! A great piece of advice! emoticon
    3291 days ago
    Great blog. Love the peace keeping statements. I would have to work on my tone to say the "thank you for sharing" thing, tho. The one I use when someone comes at me all fired up is, "Oh, I never thought of that..." (nor would I , you jerk!) It leaves them feeling superior and off my case. Thank god for cats. When my mom died and I was doing some writing, I noted that though people may hurt us, and sometimes say things that can't be taken back...the wonderful thing about animals is there are no hurtful memories; nothing said out of anger, nothing done in malice. I think that is their blessing, just pure acceptance. And no holding a grudge. Of course, they always win...
    3291 days ago
    You just keep inspiring me. I'll have my 1st year in tomorrow and part of my motivation for continuing has been your wonderful, insipiring, moving, insightful and recriminating blogs. So THANK YOU! looking forward to another year of Sparking together.
    Tia emoticon
    3291 days ago
    Even when you were being serious, it was funny. It took a few days, but I got my cats to quit waking me up before dawn to feed them.It is good to have a stay-cation and recover from drama, isn't it?
    3292 days ago
    I found you through YOOVIE's stuff. I like that you both say it like it is. :) Congrats on your continued success!
    3292 days ago
    You truly always make me LOL. Not many people can do that...I look forward to reading your blogs like I look forward to reading a good book. Your writing gets me excited about life! What a wonderful gift you have. You are doing so well, 55 pounds, 20,675 fitness minutes in 376 days. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3293 days ago
  • IAM_HIS2
    Thank you, thank you. Now I know why my friend Terri289 likes you so much. Your wit is great, plus you get the point across with being boring!! I so needed to read this today!!!! Thanks to your blog, I was able to get my thoughts together, bang the cabinet door and say, " It isn't about making other people happy, it's about ME be happy in MY life, and I get to write the script!"

    3293 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/15/2011 8:33:33 PM
    Your blog is soooooooooooooooooooo awesome!

    You truly made me realize that the journey is 1000% about me...finding what I like and doing what works for me, not someone else. Yes indeed! You also made me realize that it's not about waiting until I get to the goal to have fun, it's about enjoying the process.

    Thank you for sharing such words of wisdom!
    3293 days ago
  • BET212
    'This journey is about making me happy. Not other people.'

    You are such an inspiring and funny woman. I love your outlook on life and you generosity in sharing yourself with us.

    If Denzel fed me veggies while in the buff I don't think I'd be able to eat....the veggies emoticon
    3293 days ago
  • OLSEN9310
    love it! I would also have to agree vegetables would be much more enjoyable if Denzel Waashington were feeding them to me!!! LOL!
    3293 days ago
    Great blog! You made me smile!
    3293 days ago
  • FLARE13
    I LOVED this... thank you!
    3294 days ago
    emoticon I absolutely LOVE your blogs! The truth shall set you free!

    As my 4yr old says "Shine on Mama!" " emoticon Happy emoticon
    3294 days ago
  • no profile photo CHINGG
    nice blog:)

    Feel free to visit us at http://www.newdietcenter.com/Home.h
    3294 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/14/2011 7:35:22 PM
    Your point about love, mothers, father. That really hit me. I love your humor and attitude, but what is also amazing is how sandwiched in is some serious wisdom. Thanks for sharing.
    3294 days ago

    YOU ROCK!!!!
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    3294 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/14/2011 5:11:16 PM
    LOL I needed some humor after my day of working with people who fundamentally annoy me! Thanks for putting the smile back on my face. And congrats on your journey!
    3294 days ago
    Wow, this is some powerful stuff. Control is a big thing with me too, and has caused me to stumble quite a few times on life's road, and in big ways. But when it's all said and done, the only thing we can really control is ourselves; how we act toward others and how we react to them, how we make peace with our childhoods, and how our junk manifests itself in our lives. Sounds like you have it figured out. (or you're at least on the right road!) Kudos to you. Never keep searching.
    3294 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/14/2011 3:28:47 PM
  • IFFUR77
    emoticon job
    thanks for making me smile
    3294 days ago
    Love it! emoticon
    3294 days ago
    Loved this!! emoticon
    3294 days ago
    I LOVE THIS! Keep up the awesome work, I might just have to bang some cabinet doors myself! emoticon
    3294 days ago
    Loved your blog. It made me laugh, and yes, you are doing things the way the WORKS FOR YOU! Keep on doing what works.

    BTW - I have a cat who slams cabinet doors also - mostly for attention. Soooo funny (if not in the middle of the night) to have a cat go out to the kitchen and slam a cabinet door just to get yelled at.
    3294 days ago
  • JPRICE217
    3294 days ago
    I'm always inspired and even get a little chuckle when I read your blogs!
    3294 days ago
  • 1D1W1Y
    You are nothing short of amazing!!
    3294 days ago
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