It's been 7 years!!!
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
I was watching Biggest Loser last night and one of the contestants, Arthur, was becoming overwhelmed by the fact that, despite having already lost 150 lbs prior to joining the cast, he still had 300 lbs to go. He kept saying "I have to lose my father" (who weighs 300 lbs, not that he had to die first in order for the son to succeed!!!). How utterly defeating it must be to him to realize just how much fat he has to get rid of!
I remember sitting in my doctor's office 7 years ago today and thinking that I had to lose 50lbs. It was overwhelming and I could not imagine what it was going to take to lose that much weight. Expecially since I had lost lots of weight before through struggle and deprivation and pain and, everytime I did, I found it again with more piled on top like some demented cherry on a big, fat sundae!
Plus, I thought 50 was going to be enough. I didn't consider that, at 171, I'd be thinner but still have a BMI of 28.5 - still seriously overweight. But I couldn't wrap my head around 50 let alone 85 lbs!
In the end, I gave up on looking at the number altogether. In fact, I didn't weigh myself for over 2 years when I first started! I resolved to get up every morning to make better food choices; to figure out why I ate what, when and how I did; to fix the unhappy little girl who lived inside my soul; to get off the couch and move. I'd go to sleep every night then get up the next day and start again.
And the weight started to go - sometimes so slowly as to be imperceptible, sometimes quickly, sometimes some came back but, over time, it left. Forever.
Today I celebrate 7 years since that fateful day when I decided to take the first step towards becoming the amazing woman I am today.
If I could hold Arthur's hand I would tell him that it doesn't matter how long it will take to lose 300 lbs. Time is going to pass anyway. Today is the only day that he has to make a change for good and tomorrow, he'll start again. Get up, live well, sleep - repeat.