Wright about restaurant- Red Robin
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
WRIGHTS ABOUT RESTAURANTS (WAR)--by Danny Gee!
I like Red Robin but the 2 locations here are not real favorable to frequent visits for me.
I recently completed an email survey of potential new burgers for them and it got me real hungry for a good burger just thinking about all the hypothetical combination's under their consideration. Burgers made with beer, burgers with pablano peppers, burgers with spicy this and that and Blue Moon pepper jack, something crunchy and avocado on an onion roll, Guinness flavored sauteed blue cheese something or other....I decided to go on in the next day. That survey was a Great hook. The discovery of their 2 to 6 pm happy hour gives reason to find myself their way more often however too.
I was surprised to see the selections had changed very little sense my last visit. I could sue them for menu stagnation! I decided on the most un-ordinary selection offered, the blackened burger. Observations from my visit last night?
1) Only one of the 2 paper towel dispensers in the men's room worked and it only dispensed no more than 3 inches of towel at a time. A 2 year old needs more paper than that. I had to fan that pesky electronic eye so many times I threw out my rotator cuff just cleaning up for dinner. I could sue them for personal injury relating to the inoperable and inadequate equipment in the necessary room.
2) BURGER WAS COOKED TO ORDER (RARE) AGAIN!!! I almost had a heart attack because no one ever wants to cook ground beef just a little and I am seriously considering suing them for the ensuing stress from experiencing the shock of them repeatedly doing this part right. Blackened still red burger? Their really killing me here!
3) It should be a law that a gourmet burger joint have mustard of any type other than yellow. Come on people! Can u say Gray Poupon, spicy brown or sweet & hot? How about a mustard caddy with half a dozen types u keep in the back that you can run out and really impress the hell out of some of us? The Mgr. who ran my food out, actually suggested he bring me yellow mustard and Tabasco instead (and it sounded like he had said it a thousand times before) If this concoction was actually an acceptable burger condiment, somebody would have bottled it by now and it would be found in mustard caddies all over the Country! I want to sue him for incompetence in regards to the way he has decided to respond to the Companies condiment short comings!
4) Fries are under cooked AGAIN!!! Gosh who any where in the world wants a 1/2" thick plank of nearly raw potato??? You pick one up to take a bite and it slaps you in the neck and chest! I never met any one- ever, not even once, who doesn't like- or even prefer, a well done french fry.... They are way easier to pick up with a torn rotatory cuff and greasy necks are just plain gross! I think I could win a lawsuit where I take them to task for not following the will of the entire free world and for continuing to make us all just shake our heads in unfulfilled crispy disbelief.
4) App menu selection seemed weak to me (but I will come in during happy hour and try it) and $9 for 13 onion rings, the smallest of which is the size of a 50 cent piece, is just mega wrong and probably criminal. Some one might sue them in Civil court for... you know.... making em bend over and grab their ankles!
5) All the beer should be discounted, including the good ones that are on tap. More and more and more, and more, men and women every where, are turning to good beer with actual flavor...IE- away from Bud and Miller. AND they should have some beers from our many local breweries on tap there- Screw Sam Adams, what did he ever do for my town anyway?? If he was still alive, I would sue his butt off!
6) Even though I was not reciprocal (Engrossed in reading my paper)the employees kept up a friendly demeanor despite myself! I'm researching reasons to sue young, happy teenagers and I will get back to you in this regard. The fact that the bartender kept making herself malts and soft drinks which she sucked down with ravenous attention, may be part of my case because I think employee consumption belongs in the break room and besides, I should be the center of her universe until which time I decide to leave.
7) No toothpicks??? The last impression I get as I leave the building--"they are too cheap to buy an incredibly inexpensive dining necessity for many of us even though they must be saving a fortune on hand towel supplies and quality mustard alone, (Sung to the tune of... "They don't love me anymore cuz they already have my money in the till") Conditions for food borne illness are just perfect inside the human mouth; warmth, moisture and oxygen. If the hunk of rare burger stuck between my $3,000 crown and my unsteady real molar stays tucked away there for too long, it'll turn rancid and make me real sick... and then why in the world wouldn't I sue them for food poisoning?
For $8 to $9 you can get a great, perfectly cooked cow or chicken sandwich at Red Robin that will come with all you can eat undercooked potato planks. Just be sure to bring your own mustard, hand towels and toothpicks.
Thanks for listening,