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Weigh-In and Weighing On Me

Sunday, December 05, 2010

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Weigh-In Day

Last Week: 335.8
Goal this Week: 337.2
Actual Weight: 334.8
Loss/Gain: -1 pound

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Starting Weight: 466.6
SP SW: 416.2
Current Weight: 334.8
SP Total Loss: 81.4
Total Loss: 131.8

So you'd think I might be a little peeved, but I'm really not. All week my weight fluctuated high, from 336 to even 339 at the doc's office. And what's all that about? Did I eat horribly? No, though I did go over my calories once, maybe twice, but I wasn't so bad that I was ashamed of myself. Did I refuse to work out this week? Uhm, no again. I finished week 2 of C25k and did 2 days of killer ST that I was super proud of, plus a Zumba class!

Still, the stress of this week, and the few bad decisions I made, I earned that 1 pound hard, and I'm proud of it!

Stress is a real diet killer...so is lack of sleep, which I can attribute to the last 2 nights. Last night I FINALLY got to sleep at 3am. I went to bed just before midnight. You see, I don't know if you guys have this problem, but ever since I was little I can't sleep the night before big events. The night before Christmas is completely out, any time I'm nervous about something too. So I spent the past two nights tossing and turning in bed, playing all the scenarios in my head over and over again, telling myself everything I want to remember.

It's anxiety.
The plane.
The seat belt.
The snow.
The delays of flights I'm usually plagued with.
Getting through security.
My bag weighing less than 50 lbs.
A city I haven't been in since I was about 14.
A city I don't know.
A hotel I've never stayed in.
How to get to the hotel from the airport.
The late check-in time (4pm) when I get in a 2pm.
The lack of daylight in the evenings.
Finding my way to the training building.
Meeting new people.
Navigating the streets.
The crime rate.
Seeing something.
Being alone.
Being cold.
Being unprepared.
Lack of money.
The metro system.
Finding a grocery store.
Eating right.
Enjoying myself.
Wanting to run outside.
Being afraid to run in a foreign city.
Whether to listen to music, which I need to run.
Getting through training.
Getting up at 5am on Saturday.
Leaving in time to get to the airport.
Getting through security.
Delays.
Planes.
Seat Belts.
Boredom.
Alone.

Yeah, I could go on like that forever...and I did last night. It's annoying, but I can't get myself to quit. I'm one of those people who prepares a plan A, and then a plan B, C, and D to go along with that before I go anywhere or do anything new. Without a plan, I'm lost and scared. Without a plan, I'm afraid of what could happen.

On our trip to Florida a few years back I was teased relentlessly. I had a binder with us. It had all the information for routes to take, hotel reservations, local restaurants, attractions and costs, lists of what was scheduled for what day. I even made up little packets for the boys of the money they were allowed to spend each day. I thought it was brilliant. Everyone else thought it was excessive. I haven't really made one like it since. *sigh* (Of course, we get into a situation, and guess who everyone turns to for an idea of what to do, what plan B might be? Yep. Me.) I tried not to plan when I went to NYC with my friend in 2008. I had a panic attack on our first full day there. It was awful!

So, that one pound was so very much earned. And I'm thinking of getting sleeping pills for Christmas Eve! *lol* I may be stronger now, but I'm the same me with the same quirks. I'm not invincible or bulletproof at all. I'm just a more capable me (which does help with the anxiety, I must say...I kept asking myself, if I'm attacked, do I think I could punch someone in the nose or something? *lol*)


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Now, onto the plan for next week. This is going to be a little different, because I need flexibility. I don't quite know what I'm getting myself into and/or how comfortable I will feel, so I'll have to play it by ear.

emoticon Swim Some.
If the pool is adequate, do some laps. I miss swimming, so it'd be fun to cross train by doing some laps. I was never a swimmer, but I once spent an entire summer reading swimming magazines and trying to self-teach the perfect stroke. Honestly, I probably suck at it, but I love it anyways. Just have to be careful of the knee, because kicking can pop it out in the water.

emoticon C25k
I'm on week 3, and I'm hoping I get through it without any issues. I did get some new pants from Wal_Mart, which fit like a glove (not exactly flattering) so I've got that good feeling when I put on my new workout gear. I can use the hotel's gym for my training, but I'd really love to do another outside run. That, of course, will depend on how safe I feel and how cold it is. (I don't want to break a leg in D.C., thank you, so if I don't feel safe because of snow or ice or whatever, I'm not chancing it.) Part of me is just afraid I won't be able to finish Week 3 and will have to take a step backward.

emoticon Grocery Shopping
I'm hoping to find a grocer nearby where I can pick up some things to make. My room has a kitchen with stove and sink and dishwasher and full-sized fridge, so I have the opportunity to avoid the salt trap of eating out.

emoticon Dine Out
That being said, I would like to be able to go out just once and enjoy myself. It might not happen though, I'm not boss at going out alone...especially to a restaurant. *shrug*

emoticon Drink Water!
Going to stick to drinking water as much as possible, with some hot coffee thrown in for those cold mornings. This is kinda just a given.

emoticon Log Miles and Miles!
Finally, I want to build up my courage enough to really enjoy walking around the monuments (which I've been told are relatively safe because of the high tourist numbers) and around places like Dupont Circle. I've challenge myself to see how many miles I can log this week, and I'm hoping that I can start each day early enough for a workout before I have to shower, change, and get to training...and then log some more miles in the evening. Again, all will depend on how I feel about the situation/area.

So there's my vague plan for the week. Wish me luck! Maybe if I log enough miles and eat relatively well, I can surprise myself and come back from a trip smaller than when I left! That'd be really nice!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD3035359
    I'm both a planner and an insomniac! Nice to know I am not alone! I am currently a mom who works part time from home in a real no stress self employed bookkeeping position. No stress! However, I can stay up all night if my son is upset about something someone said at school! I thought when I gave up the high pressure job, that would end...it doesn't! Maybe I will ask Santa for sleeping pills too!

    Enjoy DC! Be safe...
    3690 days ago
  • RAVENSONG37
    I love your planning and thoroughness. It's a skill I'm still working on!! Keep being you, babe, cuz you are awesome!
    3693 days ago
  • -SHIMMER-ANN-
    Hey lady, guess who ALSO creates a binder for trips? My mom. Guess who we made fun of? My mom. I couldn't WAIT to go on a trip without her when I was an adult!! And then I did, and it SUCKED. NOW guess who makes a binder?!?! THIS GIRL!! LOL!!! They'll thank you later, and one lb is ONE LB!! Great job!!! You are looking GORGEOUS!!!
    3693 days ago
  • ATROTTIER
    Good luck & HAVE FUN!!!
    3693 days ago
  • PNW_GIRL
    your plan for this week sounds GREAT!! try not to let the new city/people/being ALONE intimidate you... I've learned that I really thrive being alone, who knew?! Its really freeing to know that you CAN run alone in a foreign city (but I only do so w/ one earbud in, just so I can keep tabs on whats happening around me) and I much prefer running outside to inside... so if weather allows it, try it! worst case scenario, you're too nervous and hit the TM anyway. nothing lost :)


    stick w/ your plan, lovely, and enjoy the change of scenery! have fun meeting new people and strutting your smaller, more confident self around DC. Pretend like you own the place, and no one will know any different!
    I know you'll miss your family, but enjoy ESTHER. I love her and know you will too :)

    xoxox
    3694 days ago
  • HEALTH-E-CLARE
    It's going to be an amazing adventure. You have a great game plan for working out and eating, so no worries there.

    If you are half as amazing IRL as you have been on Sparkpeople, meeting new people and training should be a breeze.

    Please be careful if you are running/walking in a new city, espeically if you have your headphones in. I might suggest that if you do need them, only stick one in, so you can be more aware of your surroundings.

    Have an amazing time and Congrats on the 1 lbs. A loss is a loss and is something to be proud of.
    3694 days ago
  • CANOGAPARKGAL
    I definitely wish you luck. Also, your planning will have something to do with the luck emoticon


    3694 days ago
  • RUSSELLORAMA
    Congrats on doing so well! It's definitely cool to have a plan, especially if you're going someplace you've never been. Hopefully, you won't be so rigid with it that you miss a chance at adventure or an unexpected pleasure! That's great that you have facilities to cook your own food. I'm on the road this weekend and we had one dinner out last night, but tonight we're cooking our dinner. It was WAY cheaper than paying the restaurant, plus we know exactly what we're eating. Have a great trip!
    3694 days ago
  • BTINTERNET
    Grocery is unlikely, but dinner out can definitely happen! :-)
    3694 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7133412
    I'm a planner too so I know how you feel! I've had binders for travels before too. My friends and family harass me for it, but hey... at least I know what I'm doing and how I'll get there!

    I ate out a lot by myself when I traveled for work. I would always just bring a book and keep my nose stuck in it. I actually ended up enjoying dining by myself very much. I would get irritated when people would start to chat with me. Whenever I felt self conscious I would think, "These people don't know me and I'll never see them again."

    I'd also go to the grocery store and pick up breakfast items like bananas and yogurt. Whatever you pick will be much more healthy than the hotel provide carbfest breakfasts.

    Enjoy your trip!!
    3694 days ago
  • no profile photo JEAN_WIKE
    I've had the same problem; I call it Anxiety Insomnia. Good luck and enjoy!
    3694 days ago
  • NITELITE72
    When I read this all I could think was, "I wish I planned things out like that...and was that organized!" Don't give yourself a hard time. It sounds like you have an idea of how you want to spend your days. It may not go exactly according to plan A, but you will adapt as you feel comfortable.
    3694 days ago
  • ELSEEBEE
    It sounds like you have a good plan for your trip! Being flexible is not always easy of this journey we call Spark. But one thing I have learned is to do the best I can, roll with the punches, and forgive myself and move on when I get home! Have a great time in DC! There's so much to see there and lots to do (especially walking!).
    3695 days ago
  • GRANDMABEAST63
    Planning is the key to the sucess I say, have fun in DC ! I am sure you will get to meet some people on your course that like you will want to venture out there. Hotel gyms can be fantastic, one hotel I stayed at in Toronto the pool was half-covered so half the laps were outside with the snow & all.
    3695 days ago
  • _SASX_
    Plan baby. If its what helps you sleep at night then do it! Don't let the thought of what others think stop you from doing something that will give you peace of mind.

    I like your plan for this week. I'm not that organized a person (hence the going out a second time this weekend to get Christmas lights LOL, but when I travel I NEED to have a plan, too!
    3695 days ago
  • WATCHMEGO2
    When my husband and I went to Maui a few years ago I had the binder of all binders. I carried it with us in the rental car everyplace we went. I got teased relentlessly but I didn't care, I am a planner and that is just how I function. Every time we go away I have "the binder". I hope you enjoy your trip. take care.
    3695 days ago
  • _COSMOPAULATAN_
    Damn... it's already W3 for you? Where is the time going???
    3695 days ago
  • ATREAT4ME
    I love your trip binder. Sorry I wasn't around back then to tell you what a cool idea I really think it is. I love planners and am envious of that talent. Opportunity favors a prepared mind! I love who you are, quirks and all. So please go to DC and rock that town with some common sense and a healthy attitude!
    3695 days ago
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