Day 263: The Return of Ben
Monday, September 27, 2010
Remember Ben [Mr. Do You Have an Iron?].
Ben from match.com who claimed he wanted to be exclusive before he went on vacation in July, left for New Orleans and never called me when he returned.
Dead - you say? Nope. Still alive.
Lost at sea. Um, no - found.
Calling me at work? Yes. [Note to self: Looking at caller ID is more effective than not.]
I love a great story. I do. I love a good book, a country song, and my neighbor because they all tell great stories.
Here is Ben's...
Ben was being stalked by an ex. Allegedly, "she" was following him and showed up in his driveway like on CSI. Fearing for my safety he cut off all contact with me. [I know?! Right?! Fantabulous story. Oscar-worthy.]
When I inquire why he couldn't fear for his life AND email me of his whereabouts [you know, multi-task] - he said, "It would be rude." [Um... bored with you now. I have to get back to figuring out what kind of knee-high boot my smaller calves want for a Fall present... Oh, I mean working.]
I used to be concerned about other people's feelings more than mine and even if that person treated me badly - I would accept it.
I put myself last.
I told myself I did not matter and locked all of the pain inside – I was so busy being the “nice,” luscious girl.
Thus, I would get caught up in other people's stories and forget about my own.
Just for context, I can’t tell you how many folks I’ve met online that have told me the “I have a stalker story” on the FIRST date. [totally wild and kinda sad, not because I think it’s true - but because most of them have procreated, sadly spreading their idiotic seed across the planet… sigh]
Still, I told Ben I am glad he is safe [‘cause I was raised right] and that I only wished him the best [Go away – I am looking for knee-high boots. It’s an emergency...]
When I returned to the home place, there were three messages on my answering machine from Mr. Has-an-Iron and one whiny email about making "it" up to me. [Ugh. I know. Right... Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Next.]
Onto someone much more scrumptious and completely worthy of my time...
On our third date, Craig [Mr. Wonderful from eharmony.com] and I went to Redbank, NJ where we watched people crab for dinner [totally interesting], went to a farmer's market and did some sightseeing.
The weather was spring-like and we sat on a bench overlooking Assunpink Creek filled with boaters enjoying the weather as well. I was hungry so he said pick a restaurant for lunch and I did [and y'all, all I can say is - steak yum! Beef is good food]. After lunch, we drove through the mountains to look at rich people's McMansions. [I love doing this. They never have curtains – it’s like they want me to look at their stuff.]
As we are driving, Craig spies a hiking path between two McMansions that he believes is part of a park leading to a scenic overlook of New York City. [Seriously, he is like the path whisperer - he has found a secluded hiking/walking path on every date thusfar in this fashion.] I have never met someone who likes walking in the woods so much. Me – I like controlled nature locales like my garden – where there are no bears and no one will have to send out a search party to find me.
I am wearing Merrell walking shoes because I have learned to always be prepared for some cardio on these dates. [Note to self: Add cute hiking boots to shopping list.]
So we walked and walked and walked to the point where I felt it was hard to look cute and hike simultaneously. [Yes, looking fab is still a goal, even in the woods.]
When we get to the top - the view is not as he remembers it. It is overgrown and the cityscape is now mostly hidden. And I am mentally prepping myself to go down the steep hill without killing myself when…
He puts his arm around my waist from behind and pulls me close to him. "It has never been more beautiful here," he says.
Mr. Wonderful is talking about me?! [I know. Right?!] And I have a waist! [Awesomesauce.] There was a time I would never let anyone hug me around the waist because I was so self-conscious. I would immediately recoil and feel shame.
Suddenly, we are kissing – again.
I totally forgot about hiking and boots and falling to my death down the hill.
‘Cause this life rocks.