Day 237: The Sweat Cloth
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
"Really showing cleavage is how I get through some of these boring meetings," I jokingly explained to my friend at work. [Doodling works too, but I forget my pad and pencil a lot]. It seems I've gone from feeling completely ashamed of my body to being absolutely shameless in a matter of 8 months - talk about a transformation...
Anyway, this was after I asked her why in the name of the fashions gods was she covering her fab sundress with a long man's shirt [she said blah blah blah - something about how sexy = unprofessional]. To each her own I say, but personally "sexy" is my goal everyday now [that - and carrying a water of bottle the size of a small country, lip gloss and making sure my tushy looks good from every angle].
I've already spent decades feeling shamed of my womanly curves - so showing some lovin' spoonfulls of the sisterhood seems harmless [and way too much fun to give up right now so this joy will be jumping and jiggling where ever it goes - I'm just sayin'...]
I have been way too serious for way too many years. And I make a point of having fun while I am losing weight.
Further, I don't want my "old" insecurities stopping me from living my new life. And one of my biggest insecurities during the summer is sweating like a football player [as soon as the heat spikes...] It trickles down my ear, builds nice big wet spots on my back and dainty love spots under my hefty sisters.
So in the past, I dreaded summer. Summer meant
Pretending I liked to wear long sleeves everywhere [to cover stretch marks or arms that were too muscular or juicy].
Pretending I liked wearing cutoff jeans or a long T-shirt in a pool or making up excuses to avoid summer parties or BBQs or anything outdoors altogether.
Summer meant dreading the end of spring and desperately waiting for fall [to hide under layers of baggy clothers again].
But accepting my body [this year] has meant accepting everything it does including sweating [and plateaus, for that matter.]
My body's got a job to do - keep me alive and healthy.
And I've got a job to do - live my best life. That is my journey and that is all that matters.
So people sweat. End of story. [I tell myself.] 'Cause I gotta live now. Right now.
I just carry color-coordinated sweat cloths [yellow, orange, turquoise] to dab my sweat in my travel bag or purse and jiggle on.
Me, my sweat clothes and my summer dresses have taken one-day trips this month to Baltimore's Inner Harbor [ate yummy crab cakes], Annapolis, MD [where I had ice cream and fell in love with this adorable place] and this past Saturday I went to St. Michael's, MD [where I ate more crab cakes]. I did more than eat but I do love a good crab cake and my yummy vittles. And who knew Maryland was so awesomesauce?!
I haven't travelled this much in over ten years [that's a whole lot of missed living and summer fun for a natural body function like sweating].
Honestly, sweat really just ruins a cute outfit now [sigh].
This past Sunday I had a first date with Craig and it was a bazillion degrees in New Hope, PA. I did consider cancelling because of the sweat um... thing. Instead I put on a tight pencil skirt [nothing makes a tushy look like candy more - stop and go buy one now] and a white tank top and went on the dinner date.
My plan was to stay inside the restaurant [with the AC and my food] but instead we ended up taking a romantic walk along the Delaware River [yes, too much lip gloss went to my head because it was HOT].
When I became self-conscious about the sweating, he said, "You have looked amazing since the minute I saw you." [Rock this, bro!]
The second date is tonight and I will be wearing my tushy-hugging, inappropriately sexy dress to work for shake [my booty] practice and for fun.
In then end, this journey is not about lookin' cute or my sisters or dating - for that matter [okay, some of it is but not all :) ]. It's about choosing.
Choosing to surmount insecurities.
Choosing embrace all that I am - the good, the bad and the sweaty.
Choosing to fight for what I want, especially when it's not easy.
That is the real weight loss - losing all of the things that hold us down or back.
And that is worth every hour of exercise or
Every sweat cloth I can carry.
It really is.